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AUCTIONEER aka THE AUCTIONEER aka THE AUCTIONEER SONG Words and music by LeRoy Van Dyke and Buddy Black AUCTIONEER as recorded by LeRoy Van Dyke 1956 There was a boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma When she told him that he should go to school He'd sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk and pretty soon You'd find him at the local auction barn Well he'd stand and listen carefully then pretty soon he began to see How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly He said, "Oh my it's do or die I've got to learn that auction cry Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer" 25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar 30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid? 35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35 Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid? As time went on he did his best and all could see he didn't jest He practied on and then some night and day His pappy'd find him behind the barn just a workin up an awful storm As he tried to imitate the auctioneer Said his pappy, "Son we just can't stand a havin' a mediocre man, You gotta take that auction usin' our good name. I'll send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool You can take your place among the best" 35 dollar 40 now 40 dollar 40 dollar 40 dollar 40 dollar give me a hollar 40 dollar Who will bid it at at a 40 dollar bid? 40 dollar 45 45 will you make it 45 give me 45 and a 45 Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid? So from that morning he went to school there grew a man who played it cool He came back home a full fledged auctioneer And people came from miles around just to hear him make that rhythmic sound That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer His fame reached out from shore to shore he had all he could do and more He had to buy a plane to get around Now he's the tops in all the land so let's all give that man a hand He's the best of all the auctioneers 45 dollar 50 now 50 dollar 50 dollar 50 dollar 50 dollar give me a hollar 50 dollar Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bill? 50 dollar 55 55 make it 55 and a 55 make it 55 and Sold that horse for a 50 dollar bill ****************** THE AUCTIONEER as recorded by Gordon Lightfoot 1980 Hey well all right sir, open the gate and let 'em out and walk 'em boys. Here we come and let in number twenty-nine, what are you gonna give for the little fella? I want a five dollar want a bid, would you bid it on a five on a five on a five Will you bid it on a twenty-five Got a twenty-five dollar would you bid it on five on the five Will you bid it on a thirty dollar five on five Will you bid it on a five, will you bid it on a thirty-five. Well there was this boy from Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma When she told him that he should go to school. Well he'd sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk and pretty soon You'd find him at the local auction barn. Well he'd stand and listen carefully until at last he began to see How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly. Well he said "Oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer" Twenty-five dollar bid you now thirty dollar thirty Will you make it thirty, bid it on a thirty dollar thirty dollar Will you give me thirty, will you give me thirty dollar bill I got a thirty dollar bid you now Five will you beat it on a thirty-five, bid it on thirty-five, thirty-five Who's gonna bid it at a thirty-five dollar bill. (bridge) Well the time went by and he did his best and all could see he did not jest He practiced calling bids both night and day. 'Til his pappy found him behind the barn just workin' up an awful storm As he tried to imitate the auctioneer. And his pop said "Son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man Sellin' things at auction using our good name. Well I'm gonna send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool And you can take your place among the best". Thirty-five dollar bid you now forty dollar forty Will you make it forty, bid it on a forty dollar forty dollar Will you give me forty, will you give me forty dollar bill I got a forty dollar bid you now Five will you beat it on a forty-five, bid it on forty-five, forty-five Who's gonna bid it at a forty-five dollar bill. (bridge) And from that boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool He come back home a full fledged auctioneer. And the people would come from miles around Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer. And his fame spread out from shore to shore He'd all that he could do and more. He had to buy a plane to get around. Well now he's the best in all the land, let's pause and give that man a hand 'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers. Forty-five dollar bid you now fifty dollar fifty Will you make it fifty, bid it on a fifty dollar fifty dollar Will you give me fifty, will you give me fifty dollar bill I got a fifty dollar bid you now Five will you beat it on a fifty-five, bid it on fifty-five, fifty-five Who's gonna bid it at a fifty-five dollar bill. (bridge) Well I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill. (Contributed by David Story- February 2013)

    


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