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BUY MY LITTLE TEN-A-PENNY PILLS (Bacon) Max Bacon - 1938 Walk Up! Walk Up! Each Mister, Missus or Miss Walk Up! Walk Up! And get such a load of this I may be gone tomorrow But you'll find me 'ere today I bring you health So listen to the things I got to say Did you ever got rheumonia or pneumatics Did your children got the chilblains or the chills Doesn't matter what you got, here's a way to cure the lot Ho-Ho, buy my little ten-a-penny pills Do you ever keep awake when you are sleeping Or does night starvation put you through the mills If your hillness it should be a housemaid on the knee Ho-Ho, buy my little ten-a-penny pills These pills are good for ladies and for women The finest pills the world has ever known I took them 'cause I knew they're good for slimming And now I weigh just only twenty stone Do you suffer from the mumps or crooner's tonsils Floating specs before the heyes or other hills Now if you should want the flu to flew away from you Ho-Ho, buy my little ten-a-penny pills Ladies and Gestcustomers, you all know me Doctor Professor Maximilian Bacon What has stood in this market place Since the last twenty-five years come next Octember Before I started to stood here I was an RSVP from the University of Oxford, uh, Circus What is an RSVP, go away you kids, go on, run away Yes, I gradumacated with honours in Chemistry and Chemistry And I got my degrees in Bonot...Botany and Monotony Now, you peoples may think you're in good health, are you? Is your funicula heart rate pumping a regular supply Of paragoric acic into you Massachusetts gland? You don't know, I don't know But my ten-a-penny pills, they know Yes, these pills will cure anything what you've got And anything what you going to get This I can say without any fear of contraception As for example, do you suffer from bad breathing? Ah-hah, that's terrible, because breathing is a necessity to life If we don't breathe, the world don't go on Buy mien pills and they will make you breathe better Now, also with mien pills I give you some breathing exercises Like this, do it hafter me, one, breathe in through the nose Two, breathe out through the mouth and vice virtue And when you've bought mien pills This is what you can do with them Take them on an empty stomach If they roll off, then you can take them on your back Yes, mien pills are wonderful They are obsolutely grammateed to cure anything >From Saint Vitus Dance to the Big Apple You got a pain inside you, Little Mary Then take mien pills, that's very good advice They're good for cats and dogs and your canary And they clear your house from any rats or mice Even if your best friends do not like to tell you If you feel so bad that life has lost its thrills Don't me miserable, instead cheer up, you'll soon be dead If you buy my little ten-a-penny pills (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2015)

    


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