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DARKTOWN POKER CLUB (Jean Havez / William H. Vodery / Bert Williams) Phil Harris Also recorded by: Jimmy Dean; Bert Williams. Bill Jackson was a poor old dub Who joined the Darktown Poker Club But cursed the day he told them he would join His money used to go like it had wings If he yelled queens, someone had kings And each night he would contribute all his coin Then he said I’m gonna play ‘em tight tonight He said there’ll be no bobtail flushes make me bite ‘Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peach And he played them tight but lost his pile And Bill got peevish after a while So he rose, looked all around, and made this speech He said you all see this brand new razor I had it sharpened just today Now I’m coming in there with my rules That you must follow when you play Now keep your big bony hands on the table While you dealing, please And don’t be slippin’ them aces down there Er, in between your knees And don’t be makin’ all them funny signs Like you tryin’ to tip off your hand Just talk in American, boy, American So’s I can understand And don’t be dealin’ off the bottom Because ooh that’s rough Take five, five, then stop, that’s enough Now when you bet put up the chips Because I don’t like it when you shy Then if you get busted go on out and get some I’m gonna be here by and by Pass them cards for me to shuffle Everytime before you deals Then if anything’s wrong, I must see ‘Cause I mean, you always ain’t no, er Keep playin’ that game according to Mr. Hoyle You all play this game accordin’ to me Now sittin’ right there in that there clan There chance to be a one-eyed man And Bill kept watchin’ him out the corner of his eye When ole one-eye would deal and then Would cost that Bill another five or ten Bill got up again, looked all around him with a sigh He said, Lord, this is an awful shame He said, There someone cheatin’ in this ‘ere game He said, it goes, er, It ain’t no do for me to name the guy So I’ll refrain from mentioning the party’s name If I catch him cheatin’ just once again I’m gonna take my fist and close that other eye Now you see this brand new razor I had it sharpened just today I’m comin’ in there with my own rules That you must follow when you play Hey kid, keep your hands up there While you’re givin’ them out, please Stop puttin’ them wildies Down there ‘tween your knees Stop makin’ all them funny signs Like you’re tryin’ to tip off your hand Keep talkin’ in American, big AAA That’s what I can understand And don’t be getting’ them off the bottom Because I keep tryin’ to tell you it’s rough This an army game, five, five, halt, that’s enough Now when you bet let me see the reds and blues ‘Cause I don’t like it when you shy Then if you run out of gas, go get pumped up I’m gonna be here by and by Pass them pasteboards for me to shuffle Everytime before you deal, let me ripple Anything wrong, I wanna see I mean, you always ain’t gonna keep playin’ the game now According to that Mr. Hoyle You all gonna play this game according to me Henry, if you break the seal on that new deck of bicycles We’ll go on from there, yeah Yeah yeah yeah

    


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