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DOCTOR DOLITTLE (Music / Lyrics : Leslie Bricusse) Premiere : 1967 MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR MATTHEW He's altogether a marvellous man, an' he understands the Irish! ..........AND ANY MAN WHO UNDERSTANDS THE IRISH CAN'T BE RECKONED ALTOGETHER BAD - THE SAME WAY THAT A LUNATIC WHOSE PATRON SAINT IS PATTERICK CAN'T BE RECKONED ALTOGETHER MAD. THE DOCTOR'S VERY SMART - HE'S AN IRISHMAN AT HEART - HIS FAVOURITE COLOUR, SURE IT MUST BE GREEN. ALSO HE'S A MAN WHO'LL BLARNEY WHEN HE CAN - LET ME EXPLAIN THE SORT OF THING I MEAN. MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE MOON IS MADE OF APPLE PIE - AND ONCE A MONTH IT'S EATEN BY THE SUN. AND THAT IS WHY, UP IN THE SKY, YOU'LL FIND AS EVERY MONTH GOES BY SOMEBODY IN THE SKY'S MAKIN' ANOTHER ONE! MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE SUN IS MADE OF CHEDDAR CHEESE - THE DOCTOR EVEN KNOWS THE REASON WHY THE FACTS ARE THESE - TRY IF YOU PLEASE PRETENDIN' YOU'RE A LONELY CHEESE - WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO TRY FINDIN' AN APPLE PIE? Of course you would! MAYBE WHAT THE DOCTOR TELLS ME ISN'T ALTOGETHER TRUE - BUT I LOVE EVERY TALE HE TELLS ME - I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER ONES - DO YOU? MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE WORLD IS FULL OF FANTASY - AND WHO ARE YOU AND I TO DISAGREE? LET'S HOPE AND PRAY THAT IS THE WAY THE LIFE WE LOVE WILL ALWAYS STAY FOR MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR AND ME! MATTHEW & COMPANY MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE STARS ARE MADE OF LEMON DROPS THE BIGGER ONES ARE LOLLIPOPS AND ICE THE CLOUDS HAVE SHOPS UP ON THE TOPS THAT SELL YOU SWEETS AND SODA - POPS WHAT DO THEY CALL THE PLACE - ISN'T IT PARADISE? COMPANY MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THAT EVERY TIME IT STARTS TO RAIN - AND PEOPLE RUN INDOORS AGAIN IN SWARMS - IF YOU REMAIN OUT IN THE RAIN, YOU'LL THINK YOU'RE DRINKIN' PINK CHAMPAGNE! - AND YOU'LL SPEND YOUR LIFE PRAYIN' FOR THUNDERSTORMS! MAYBE WHAT THE DOCTOR TELLS ME ISN'T ALTOGETHER TRUE - BUT I LOVE EVERY TALE HE TELLS ME - I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER ONES - DO YOU? MATTHEW MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE WORLD IS FULL OF FANTASY - AND WHO ARE YOU AND I TO DISAGREE? LET'S HOPE AND PRAY THAT IS THE WAY THE LIFE WE LOVE WILL ALWAYS STAY FOR MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR - MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR AND ME! ----- THE VEGETARIAN DOLITTLE THE DAY THAT I BECAME A VET'RINARIAN, I HAD A SUDDEN OVERWHELMING WISH TO BE A PURE AND SIMPLE VEGETARIAN - AND GIVE UP EATING ALL THAT MEAT AND FISH. TOMMY I think that's marvellous! MATTHEW Meat's very unhealthy for you! DOLITTLE Yes...... SO NOW I LIVE ON HEALTHY FOOD INSTEAD! - LIKE APPLE CORES AND PARSNIP JUICE - AND CHUNKS OF PLAIN BROWN BREAD! WHEN I SEE MY FELLOW MEN CONSUMING SIRLOIN STEAK - AND I FIND MYSELF ENJOYING TEA AND DUNDEE CAKE - THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE CONCLUSION I CAN MAKE - I'M A DEVOTED VEGETARIAN! No, you don't, you little pig! You've had yours! Oh all right, then - but only a little! You see what I mean? This is his tenth meal today! WHEN MY HOST AT DINNER OFFERS SUCCULENT ROAST BEEF PROUDLY I REFUSE IT. PEOPLE STARE IN DISBELIEF, LOST IN ADMIRATION AS I NIBBLE ON A LEAF A VERY NOTED VEGETARIAN! I don't even eat horseradish, in case I upset the horses! I STAY AWAY FROM DEVILLED HAM ON PRINCIPLE! - I WOULDN'T EAT ROAST DUCKLING IF I COULD! WILL POWER HAS MADE ME INVINCIBLE!... MY WORD, THOSE SAUSAGES DO LOOK GOOD! TURNIP PIE AND PEANUTS - THAT'S THE SORT OF FILTH I EAT! ANY SORT OF RUBBISH THAT IS WHOLESOME AND DISCREET! WHY DON'T I ADMIT THAT MY HYPOCRISY'S COMPLETE? IF I SHOULD LIVE TO BE A CENTENARIAN - BECOME OUR MOST ADORED HUMANITARIAN - I'LL NEVER MAKE A DECENT VEGETARIAN! - I'M A CHEAT! I LOVE MEAT I'M A CHEAT YES, I AM! I LOVE RED-BLOODED JUICY CHUNKS OF MEAT!- LEGS OF LAMB! SIDES OF BEEF 'N' CHOPS 'N' STEAK 'N' VEAL! AND PORK, OF COURSE! - MY FAVOURITE MEAL! AND THEN I HEAR POOR GUB-GUB SQUEAL! OH ME! OH MY! - A RELUCTANT BUT SINCERE VEGETARIAN AM I! ----- TALK TO THE ANIMALS DOLITTLE IF I COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS - JUST IMAGINE IT - CHATTING TO A CHIMP IN CHIMPANZEE! POLYNESIA IMAGINE TALKING TO A TIGER - DOLITTLE CHATTING TO A CHEETAH - POLYNESIA OOOOH! DOLITTLE WHAT A NEAT ACHIEVEMENT THAT WOULD BE! POLYNESIA INDEED IT WOULD! DOLITTLE IF WE COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS - POLYNESIA YES, LEARN THEIR LANGUAGES - DOLITTLE MAYBE TAKE AN ANIMAL DEGREE, POLYNESIA Good idea! DOLITTLE I'D STUDY ELEPHANT AND EAGLE, POLYNESIA BUFFALO AND BEAGLE DOLITTLE ALLIGATOR, POLYNESIA GUINEA PIG DOLITTLE AND FLEA! POLYNESIA To name but a few! YOU COULD CONVERSE IN POLAR BEAR AND PYTHON, DOLITTLE AND I WOULD CURSE IN FLUENT KANGAROO. POLYNESIA IF PEOPLE ASKED YOU "CAN YOU SPEAK SPEAK RHINOCEROUS?" DOLITTLE I'D SAY, "OF COURSEROUS! CAN'T YOU?" POLYNESIA You know I can. DOLITTLE IF I CONFERRED WITH OUR FURRY FRIENDS - MAN-TO-ANIMAL - POLYNESIA THINK OF THE AMAZING REPARTEE! DOLITTLE IF I COULD WALK WITH THE ANIMALS - POLYNESIA TALK WITH THE ANIMALS - BOTH GRUNT AND SQUEAL AND SQUAWK WITH THE ANIMALS DOLITTLE AND THEY COULD TALK TO ME! So you see Tom. It just goes to prove, that if you put your mind to it - anything is possible. IF WE COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS, THINK WHAT FUN WE'D HAVE - ASKING OVER CROCODILES FOR TEA! POLYNESIA What fun! DOLITTLE OR MAYBE LUNCH WITH TWO OR THREE LIONS, WALRUSES AND SEALIONS WHAT A LOVELY PLACE THE WORLD WOULD BE! POLYNESIA Lovely! lovely! DOLITTLE IF I SPOKE SLANG TO ORANG-UTANS, THE ADVANTAGES - MATTHEW ANY FOOL ON EARTH CAN PLAINLY SEE! POLYNESIA Of course he can! DOLITTLE DISCUSSING EASTERN ART AND DRAMA WITH INTELLECTUAL LLAMAS - POLYNESIA That's a big step forward, you'll agree! DOLITTLE OH, I AGREE! MATTHEW I'D LEARN TO SPEAK IN ANTELOPE AND TURTLE - POLYNESIA Good for you! TOMMY MY PEKINESE WOULD BE EXTREMELY GOOD! POLYNESIA Yes it would! DOLITTLE IF I WERE ASKED TO SING IN HIPPOPOTAMUS, POLYNESIA What would you say? DOLITTLE I'D SAY, "WHY NOTAMUS!" - POLYNESIA What would you do? ALL AND WOULD! POLYNESIA Good! DOLITTLE IF I COULD PARLEY WITH PACHYDERMS, TOMMY IT'S A FAIRY TALE - POLYNESIA WORTHY OF HANS ANDERSEN OR GRIMM! - MATTHEW THE MAN WHO WALKS WITH THE ANIMALS - TOMMY TALKS WITH THE ANIMALS - DOLITTLE GRUNTS AND SQUEALS AND SQUAWKS WITH THE ANIMALS... POLYNESIA (Squawks) ALL AND THEY ALL TALK TO HIM! DOLITTLE I'LL STUDY EVERY LIVING CREATURE'S LANGUAGE SO I CAN SPEAK TO ALL OF THEM ON SIGHT! IF FRIENDS SAY "CAN HE TALK IN CRAB OR PELICAN?" POLYNESIA What'll I say? DOLITTLE YOU'LL SAY "LIKE HELICAN"! POLYNESIA What'll I be? DOLITTLE AND YOU'LL BE RIGHT! POLYNESIA That's right! AND IF YOU JUST STOP TO THINK A BIT - THERE'S NO DOUBT OF IT - YOU WILL HAVE A PLACE IN HISTORY! MATTHEW THE MAN WHO WALKS WITH THE CATS 'N' DOGS - POLYNESIA TALK WITH THE TOADS 'N' FROGS - DOLITTLE GRUNT AND SQUEAK AND SQUAWK WITH THE PIGS 'N' HOGS! DOLITTLE, MATTHEW, TOMMY, POLYNESIA & ANIMAL COMPANY (in howling harmony) YES HE CAN SQUEAK - AND - SQUAWK - AND - SPEAK - AND - TALK......... DOLITTLE TO ME! ----- DOCTOR DOLITTLE MATTHEW THIS IS THE WORLD OF DOCTOR DOLITTLE - THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DOCTOR DOLITTLE - WHERE CROCODILES TALK AND ELEPHANTS SING AND ANIMALS DO MOST ANY OLD THING; WHERE POLAR BEARS WEAR TOP HATS, AND LEOPARDS WITH SPOTS WEAR SPATS. WELL, THAT'S LIFE IN THE WORLD OF DOCTOR DOLITTLE. DOVES START TO COO WHEN THEY SEE DOLITTLE HE HAS A PROFOUND PHILOSOPHY. IF ANIMALS CAN BE FRIENDS, SAYS HE, WELL THEN, WHY CAN'T WE? SAY "HOW-D'YOU-DO" TO DOCTOR DOLITTLE. LIFE IS A ZOO TO DOCTOR DOLITTLE, WHERE ANTELOPES LOPE AND OSTRICHES FAN - AND KANGAROOS DO WHAT KANGAROOS CAN TO MAKE THE HYENAS LAUGH - AS LONG AS A LONG GIRAFFE. MATTHEW & TOMMY EVERY CALF STARTS TO MOO WHEN THEY SEE DOLITTLE. EVEN THE FEW WHO USED TO MOO LITTLE. FOR ALL OF THE BIRDS AND BEASTS AGREE HE HAS A PROFOUND PHILOSOPHY - AND SO WHY CAN'T WE? YES, ALL OF THE BIRDS AND BEASTS AGREE HE HAS A PROUD PHILOSOPHY- AND SO WHY CAN'T WE..... MATTHEW "DO LITTLE" THINGS TO HELP THEM - BOTH WHY CAN'T WE? MATTHEW G'night, Tom. Sweet dreams! TOMMY & THE ANIMALS THIS IS THE WORLD OF DOCTOR DOLITTLE - A RARE WORLD THAT PEOPLE GET TO VIEW LITTLE - WHERE PENGUINS PARADE IN BLACK CRAVATS - AN' SABRE-TOOTHED TIGERS PURR LIKE CATS AT YAKS THAT RELAX AN' DOZE - WHILE HIPPOS PLAY DOMINOES...... ROOSTERS CROW FROM THE MOMENT THEY SEE DOLITTLE- THEY USED TO @#%$-A-DOODLE-DOO LITTLE! THE ANSWER IS NOT TOO HARD TO SEE - IF HE CAN BRING SO MUCH HARMONY, WELL THEN, WHY CAN'T WE "DO LITTLE" THINGS TO HELP HIM? WHY...CAN'T...WE? ----- YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE EMMA 'COS IF I WERE HIS NEPHEW, INSTEAD OF HIS NIECE, I PROMISE I'D GIVE YOU MUCH MORE THAN A PIECE OF MY MIND! DOLITTLE HOW UNKIND! EMMA THE WAY YOU TREAT PEOPLE... DOLITTLE I DON'T - I TREAT ANIMALS! EMMA YOU TREAT PEOPLE LIKE ANIMALS! IT'S MOST UNREFINED! DOLITTLE THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND! POLYNESIA I KNOW! EMMA IF I HAD TO PICK THE WORST PERSON I'VE MET - I'D SAY YOU ARE!.....YES, YOU ARE! DOLITTLE IF YOU'LL PARDON ME, MADAM - MISTAKEN AGAIN! BECAUSE YOU ARE! EMMA OH NO, YOU ARE! DOLITTLE WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY THAT WE TWO ARE...... Incompatible, that is! EMMA Incompatible!? POLYNESIA Yes, incompatible! POLYNESIA Hah! EMMA Hah! EMMA YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... DOLITTLE WHEN WILL YOU OUTGROW ALL THIS RAGE YOU SHOW? THAT YOU THINK I'M SO... BOTH IMPOSSIBLE TO TOLERATE! DOLITTLE YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... EMMA IT IS HARD TO SEE WHY YOU CHOOSE TO BE QUITE SO VILE TO ME! BOTH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTEMPLATE! EMMA WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE? YOU DON'T KNOW ME, SIR! BUT I SENSE A GRUDGE IN YOUR EVERY SLUR! DOLITTLE NO, I BEAR NO GRUDGE! - THAT'S A DREAM YOU DREAMT! ALL I BEAR FOR YOU'S COMPLETE CONTEMPT! POLYNESIA Contempt! EMMA OH, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... IMPOSSIBLE!... DOLITTLE AND THAT WELL MAY GROW!- FOR DEEP DOWN I KNOW FOLK LIKE YOU ARE SO... BOTH IMPOSSIBLE TO EDUCATE! EMMA THERE'S A THOUSAND MILES BETWEEN US!- DOLITTLE WHICH WILL ALWAYS BE UNCROSSABLE! EMMA YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! DOLITTLE NO, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! BOTH OH, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! EMMA YOU'RE DESPICABLE!... DESPICABLE!... DESPICABLE!... DOLITTLE THERE YOU GO AGAIN!- LIKE SOME CLUCKING HEN! CLEARLY, YOU HATE MEN! BOTH YOUR ATTITUDE IS TERRIBLE! DOLITTLE INEXPLICABLE!... DESPICABLE!... DESPICABLE!... EMMA I WON'T BE DISMISSED - LIKE I DON'T EXIST! YOU... MISOGYNIST! BOTH YOU REALLY ARE UNBEARABLE! EMMA MEN LIKE YOU ARE BORES! - SELF-INDULGENT FOOLS! DULL AS DINOSAURS! - FULL OF POMPOUS RULES! DOLITTLE AND I MUST DESPISE WOMEN SUCH AS YOU! - WHO JUST CRITICISE! - WHAT YOU...CAN'T DO! EMMA OH, THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE!... YOU'RE TERRIBLE!... UNBEARABLE!... DOLITTLE SO IT'S CLEAR TO ME YOU WERE BORN TO BE A CATASTROPHE!... BOTH COMPLETELY UNREPAIRABLE! EMMA AND THAT GAPING VOID BETWEEN US WILL FOREVER BE UNCROSSABLE! DOLITTLE YOU ARE ARROGANT AND BOSSY! - AND I CHOOSE TO BE UNBOSSABLE! EMMA WE'RE A CLASSICAL EXAMPLE... DOLITTLE OF THE ART OF WHAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! EMMA YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! DOLITTLE NO, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! BOTH IMPOSSIBLE! MATTHEW You know somethin'? You're both impossible! ----- I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT BLOSSOM I MEAN, I'VE SEEN THE WORLD! - I'VE BEEN AROUND I COULD TELL YOU STORIES THAT WOULD QUITE ASTOUND YOU! I'M NOT A FOOL!- I WENT TO SCHOOL! I'VE BEEN FROM LIVERPOOL TO ISTANBUL!- ISTANBUL!- I'M NO FOOL! AND ANYONE WILL TELL YOU THAT I'M SHARPER THAN A KNIFE!- BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN MY LIFE! DOLITTLE It's a pushmi-pullyu! BLOSSOM Is it? WELL, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN MY LIFE! MATTHEW It's the rarest animal on earth! BLOSSOM It certainly is! Hey! Come back! Just a minute! Listen! I MEAN, I KNOW THE GAME- I'VE SEEN 'EM ALL! I COULD TELL YOU STORIES THAT WOULD QUITE ENTRALL YOU! I KNOW ME JOB! - PLEASIN' THE MOB! I GIVE 'EM WHAT THEY WANT FOR JUST TWO BOB! JUST TWO BOB! WELL, THAT'S MY JOB! BUT THIS IS SO FANTASTIC, I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL THE WIFE! GERTIE, YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN YOUR LIFE! Come an' look at this! DOLITTLE It's a bicranium, Madam! BLOSSOM Arthur!...Vladmir!...Mavis!...Get out 'ere! All of you! Look at this! I THOUGHT I'D SEEN EVERY WONDER IN THE WORLD!- I'VE SEEN THE COLISEUM IN ROME - AND THE ACROPOLIS! I MADE THE BIGGEST BLUNDER IN THE WORLD! - BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THIS! I'M DOWN TO EARTH! - I'LL TELL YOU STRAIGHT! - I COULD TELL YOU STORIES THAT WOULD FASCINATE YOU! I KNOW THE TRADE! - I KNOW THE TRICKS! - I ONCE BOUGHT AN ELEPHANT FOR TWO POUNDS SIX! TWO POUNDS SIX! - TAUGHT IT TRICKS! BUT FOR YOUR PUSHMI-PULLYU, I'D PAY... THREE POUNDS!...... FOUR POUNDS!...... FIVE! - COS I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT THAT'S ALIVE! An' I'll tell you what! - I'll even pay cash!........CASH, d'you hear? DOLITTLE I'm afraid five pounds wasn't exactly what I had in mind...... You see, Mr Blossom...... BLOSSOM Call me Albert. DOLITTLE Albert, you see... PUSHMI-PULYUS ARE REMARKABLE CREATURES. OF ALL GOD'S ANIMALS, THEY'RE THE CLEVEREST! THEY DEVELOP THESE REMARKABLE FEATURES RUNNING UP AND DOWN MOUNT EVEREST! EVERYBODY No! DOLITTLE YES! IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE! - RUNNING UP AND DOWN MOUNT EVEREST! You see...... RUNNING UP AND DOWN A MOUNTAIN GIVES THEM VERY NIMBLE FEET. BLOSSOM PUT 'EM ON THE RIGHT ROPE, THEY COULD WALK A TIGHTROPE! THAT'D GIVE THE AUDIENCE A RARE OLD TREAT! DOLITTLE AND THIS EXTREME AGILITY BEGETS A RARE ABILITY - SHARED ONLY WITH THE MOUNTAIN GOATS OF FRANCE - THE PUSHMI-PULLYU LOVES TO DANCE! [song interlude in which Dolittle and the pushmi-pullyu dance and then negotiate their terms with Blossom...] BLOSSOM I MEAN, WHAT CAN YOU SAY? - WHAT CAN YOU DO? I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT FOLKS'LL PAY TO VIEW IT! I SAID TO TED - "TED, LAD", I SAID - "THIS THING'S THE BIGGEST THING SINCE HOME-MADE BREAD!" COMPANY HOME-MADE BREAD! BLOSSOM "TO GET THAT PUSHMI-PULLYU, I'M PREPARED TO SELL THE WIFE!" Only jokin', Gertie! COMPANY COS HE'S NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN HIS LIFE! BLOSSOM & COMPANY NO, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!- NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!- I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN ALL MY LIFE! STEP THIS WAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! STEP THIS WAY! BLOSSOM'S MAMMOTH CIRCUS PROUDLY PRESENTS THE GREATEST SINGLE ATTRACTION IN CIRCUS HISTORY! DIRECT FROM MOUNT EVEREST, THE ONE-THE ONLY- THE PHENOMENAL TWO-HEADED PERFOMING PUSHMI-PULLYU! IT LIVES - IT BREATHES-IT MOVES - IT DANCES! - WHILE GOIN' IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AT ONCE! AN ALBERT BLOSSOM WORLD EXCLUSIVE - STARTS TODAY! - 4 SHOWS A DAY AN' 4 ON SATURDAYS! THE TWO-HEADED MARVEL OF THE AGE - ALBERT BLOSSOM'S AMAZIN' PUSHMI-PULLYU! A 2-HEADED TREAT FOR ALL THE FAMILY! BRING THE KIDS, AN' GRANNY AN' GRANDDAD! FIRST SHOW STARTIN' IN 2 MINUTES! COMPANY I MEAN, WE'VE SEEN SOME SHOWS - LORD, HEAVEN KNOWS! - WE'VE SEEN EVERY SINGLE THING FROM THIS TO RINGLING! BIG SHOWS 'N' SMALL - WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL! - EVEN SEEN PERFORMERS WHO WERE TEN FEET TALL! TEN FEET TALL! AND OF THEM ALL, WE'D LIKE TO MAKE IT VERY, VERY CLEAR THAT WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE WHAT WE'VE SEEN HERE! NO, WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN ALL OUR LIFE! WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! - WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! - WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! - IN ALL OUR LIFE! DOLITTLE Call me John. ----- BEAUTIFUL THINGS Emma I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS THAT HE IS BUT HE IS WHAT HE IS FOR A VERY GOOD REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY HE DOES WHAT HE DOES BUT HE DOES WHAT HE DOES CAUSE HIS HEART IS PURE - OF THAT MUCH, I'M SURE. I'M SURE FROM THE WAY HE SPOKE THE OTHER DAY HE LIVES IN A WORLD OF FANTASY AND THAT IS A WORLD I PLAN TO SEE FANTASY, CAN'T YOU SEE ? THE WORLD IS FULL OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS BUTTERFLY WINGS, FAIRY TALE KINGS AND EACH NEW DAY UNDOUBTEDLY BRINGS STILL MORE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THE WORLD ABOUNDS WITH MANY DELIGHTS MAGICAL SIGHTS, FANCIFUL FLIGHTS AND THOSE WHO DREAM ON BEAUTIFUL NIGHTS DREAM OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS BEAUTIFUL DAYS FOR SUNSHINE LAZIN' BEAUTIFUL SKIES AND SHORES BEAUTIFUL DAYS WHEN I CAN GAZE IN BEAUTIFUL EYES - LIKE YOURS OUR LIVES TICK BY LIKE PENDULUM SWINGS POOR LITTLE THINGS, PUPPETS ON STRINGS LIFE IS FULL OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE TOO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE LIKE YOU. ----- WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES DOLITTLE WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES, I SEE THE WISDOM OF THE WORLD IN YOUR EYES. I SEE THE SADNESS OF A THOUSAND GOODBYES WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES. AND IT IS NO SURPRISE TO SEE THE SOFTNESS OF THE MOON IN YOUR EYES - THE GENTLE SPARKLE OF THE STARS IN THE SKIES - WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES. IN YOUR EYES I SEE THE DEEPNESS OF THE SEA. I SEE THE DEEPNESS OF THE LOVE - THE LOVE I FEEL YOU FEEL FOR ME. AUTUMN COMES, SUMMER DIES. I SEE THE PASSING OF THE YEARS IN YOUR EYES. AND WHEN WE PART, THERE'LL BE NO TEARS - NO GOODBYES - I' LL JUST LOOK INTO YOUR EYES. THOSE EYES, SO WISE, SO WARM, SO REAL...... HOW I LOVE THE WORLD YOUR EYES REVEAL... ISN'T IT A PITY YOU'RE A SEAL? ----- LIKE ANIMALS DOLITTLE I......I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN RACE, THAT HAS SO LITTLE LOVE FOR CREATURES WITH A DIFFERENT FACE. TREATING ANIMALS LIKE PEOPLE IS NO MADNESS OR DISGRACE. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN RACE. WHY DO WE TREAT ANIMALS LIKE ANIMALS ? HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO INHUMANE ? COWS AND CHICKENS WORK TO FEED US. DOGS AND HORSES SHOW THEY NEED US. AND THOUGH CATS DON'T ALWAYS HEED US, THEIR AFFECTION IS PLAIN. WHAT DO WE DO? WE NEGLECT THEM! WE DO NOTHING TO PROTECT THEM! WE REJECT THEM - DON'T EXPECT THEM TO COMPLAIN! WE IGNORE THEM OR WE BEAT THEM! WHEN WE'RE HUNGRY, THEN WE EAT THEM! IT'S APPALLING HOW WE TREAT THEM! IT'S INSANE! LIKE......ANIMALS! WE HUMILIATE AND MURDER AND CONFINE THEM! WE CREATE THEIR WRETCHED STATUS, THEN WE USE IT TO MALIGN THEM! I mean, WHY SHOULD WE SAY "TREAT HIM LIKE A DOG"? WHY SHOULD WE SAY "WORKING LIKE A HORSE"? WHY SHOULD WE SAY "EATING LIKE A HOG"? WHEN WHAT WE MEAN IS "EATING LIKE A MAN"! DON'T WE? OF COURSE! A MAN OF ILL-REPUTE IS CALLED A WEASEL OR A RAT. A WOMAN YOU DISLIKE BECOMES A VIXEN OR A CAT. A FAMILY THAT IS BLESSED WITH HEALTHY REPRODUCTIVE HABITS OCCASIONS THE REMARK "WELL YOU KNOW THEM - THEY BREED LIKE RABBITS!" "HE'S AS STUBBORN AS A MULE!" "HE'S AS STUPID AS AN OX!" "HE'S AS SLIMY AS A SNAKE!" "HE'S AS CRAFTY AS A FOX!" Remarks like that really get my goat! WHY CAN'T WE SAY "NOBLE AS A FROG"? WHY DON'T WE SAY "HEALTHY AS A HEN"? TRUE WE SAY"DEVOTED AS A DOG" - BUT WHAT WE SHOULD SAY IS "CHIC AS A GIRAFFE!" "PRETTY AS A PIG!" EH? THAT'LL BE THE BIG DAY, WON'T IT? BUT WHEN?......BUT WHEN?......BUT WHEN......? WHEN WILL WE STOP TREATING THEM LIKE ANIMALS? IS THE HUMAN RACE ENTIRELY MAD? WOMEN SEE A BABY GOATSKIN - OR A LAMBSKIN OR A STOATSKIN - AND TO THEM IT'S JUST A COATSKIN! OH, IT'S TERRIBLY SAD! WHEN YOU DRESS IN SUEDE OR LEATHER, OR SOME FANCY FUR OR FEATHER, DO YOU STOP AND WONDER WHETHER, FOR A FAD, YOU HAVE KILLED SOME BEAST OR OTHER? - THAT YOU'RE WEARING SOMEONE'S BROTHER? - OR PERHAPS IT'S SOMEONE'S MOTHER IN WHICH YOU'RE CLAD! - LIKE ANIMALS! LIKE ANIMALS! LIKE ANIMALS! IT'S TRUE WE DO NOT LIVE IN A ZOO... BUT MAN IS AN ANIMAL, TOO! SO WHY CAN'T YOU - LIKE ME - LIKE ANIMALS?......ANIMALS! ----- AFTER TODAY MATTHEW WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT ONE LITTLE KISS - SOFT AND SWEET FROM THE LIPS OF A LOVELY GIRL - WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE? BUT BY MY LIFE - IT WILL! AFTER TODAY, NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME AGAIN! AFTER TODAY, I'LL MAKE MY CLAIM TO FAME - AN' THEN THE GRASS WILL BE GREENER - AN' THE AIR WILL BE CLEANER - AN' MY LIFE WILL BE SERENER THAN HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN! - HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN! AFTER TODAY, I SHALL HAVE BID MY FEARS GOODBYE! AFTER TODAY, I SHALL HAVE NO MORE TEARS TO CRY! I'LL LEARN TO LIVE WITH LAUGHTER TO STAY - AFTER TODAY! AFTER TODAY, NOTHIN' WILL BE THE WAY IT WAS! AFTER TODAY, I'LL SAY OH, WHAT A DAY IT WAS! MY HEART WILL BE LIGHTER - AN' MY SMILE WILL BE BRIGHTER - AN' I'LL BE TWICE THE FIGHTER THAT EVER I WAS! - CLEVER BECAUSE AFTER TODAY, I SHALL HAVE BID MY FEARS FAREWELL! AFTER TODAY, I SHALL HAVE NO MORE TEARS TO QUELL! I'LL LEARN TO LIVE WITH LAUGHTER TO STAY! - AFTER THE TEARS COMES THE LAUGHTER - AFTER TODAY! ----- FABULOUS PLACES EMMA HOW YOU CAN STAND THERE AND SAY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, I JUST DON'T KNOW! I MUST ADMIT THE SAHARA IS ONE PLACE I'M PRAYING WE JUST WON'T GO! DOLITTLE This is absolutely typical of a woman! EMMA THERE ARE SO MANY FABULOUS FARAWAY PLACES TO SEE! - DOLITTLE She makes one pie and goes completely mad! EMMA SUCH AS MEXICO, SWEDEN, HAWAII, JAPAN AND CAPRI! DOLITTLE Been here two minutes and she's re-planning the entire trip! EMMA THERE ARE SO MANY EXCITING & WONDERFUL PLACES! - MUCH MORE INVITING THAN DESERT OASES! PLEASANT AS HOME IS, IT ISN'T WHAT ROME IS! - SO WHY STAY THERE? - WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY FABULOUS FARAWAY PLACES TO SEE! DOLITTLE I didn't think the pie was all that wonderful! EMMA WHY SHOULD SPAIN AND TAHITI AND RIO JUST BE ONLY NAMES TO YOU AND ME? DOLITTLE Is there any more? EMMA I FEEL CERTAIN THERE ARE PEOPLE WE'D BE GLAD TO KNOW THERE! - SO TELL ME WHY DON'T WE GET UP AND GO THERE? GO TO THOSE FABULOUS PLACES WHERE WE LONG TO BE? - GO TO BANGKOK & HONG KONG & PARIS & VENICE! - TOKYO & CAIRO & LISBON & LONDON! - WONDERFUL FABULOUS PLACES I'M LONGING TO SEE! DOLITTLE London? Do you really think we're going to find The Great Pink Sea Snail wandering up and down Piccadilly! Waiting for a bus ? EMMA Oh, you're so unromantic! All I'm saying is...... THERE ARE SO MANY SIMPLY INCREDIBLE PLACES TO SEE! DOLITTLE Not with Great Pink Sea Snails in them, there aren't! EMMA WHEN I THINK OF THE WARM CARIBBEAN, I SEE A NEW WORLD FOR YOU AND ME!...... DOLITTLE The Caribbean maybe...... MATTHEW I'D GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO HAVE ONE SINGLE DAY THERE! - EMMA AND ONCE WE GET THERE, I KNOW THAT WE'LL STAY THERE! - STAY IN THOSE FABULOUS PLACES WHERE WE LONG TO BE! SUCH AS SIAM! - MATTHEW SIENNA! - TOMMY VIENNA! - MATTHEW VERONA! - EMMA JAVA! - POLYNESIA JAMAICA! - MATTHEW & EMMA BOMBAY! POLYNESIA BARCELONA! - MATTHEW & EMMA OLE! POLYNESIA OLE! EMMA SHOW ME THOSE FABULOUS PLACES I'M LONGING TO SEE! DOLITTLE My dear Miss Fairfax, you seem to have entirely missed the point! I'M AWARE THERE ARE FABULOUS PLACES WHEREVER WE SAIL! EMMA Yes, but will we see any of them! DOLITTLE We will! BUT THE POINT OF THE JOURNEY IS SCIENCE! - AND FINDING THE SNAIL! - An incomparable thrill! WE WILL QUESTION THE SHARKS OFF THE COAST OF TOBAGO! - INTERVIEW SWAMP LIFE IN TIERRA DEL FUEGO! EMMA BUT THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS! DOLITTLE OH, NO! IT'S TREMENDOUS! - AND WELL WORTH WHILE! WE'LL MAKE DETAILED ENQUIRIES OF EVERY CRUSTACEAN WE MEET! - TOMMY Crustacean? DOLITTLE Shellfish! - they're sweet! WE WILL SAIL TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH - TILL OUR SEARCH FOR THE SNAIL IS QUITE COMPLETE! EMMA I'd don't trust you! DOLITTLE WE'LL INTERROGATE BEETLES AND BUGS IN NIGERIA! - AND, IF WE HAVE TO, MOVE ON TO SIBERIA! - EIGHTY BELOW, BUT A PLACE THAT WE ALL OUGHT TO SEE! EMMA But I haven't brought the right clothes for Siberia! DOLITTLE THOSE ARE THE FABULOUS PLACES YOU'LL VISIT WITH ME! MATTHEW Sounds like we're in for a good time! EMMA WELL, SIBERIA IS ONE PLACE YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME GO! DOLITTLE STICK IN THE PIN! - WHERE THE PIN GOES, THEN WE GO! MATTHEW IRELAND! EMMA RUMANIA! TOMMY HOW 'BOUT TRANSYLVANIA? DOLITTLE WE'LL CHASE THAT SEA SNAIL FROM HERE TO TASMANIA! EMMA SHOW ME THOSE FABULOUS PLACES I'M LONGING TO SEE! ALL WE WILL VENTURE WHERE ONLY THE BRAVE AND INSANE GO - LONG AS THE SNAIL'S AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW WE'LL SEE THE FABULOUS PLACES WE'RE LONGING TO SEE! ----- WHERE ARE THE WORDS ? MATTHEW THERE SHE IS - SLEEPIN' ON THE LAUNDRY - WITH THE GOLDEN SUNLIGHT IN HER HAIR. THERE'S MY HEART - WITH HER ON THE LAUNDRY. HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE A GIRL SO FAIR? DOLITTLE THERE SHE IS - SLEEPING IN THE SUNSET - SOON THERE WILL BE MOONLIGHT IN HER HAIR. DARE MY HEART - WARY OF THE SUNSET - CONTEMPLATE THE DANGER SLEEPING THERE? GRACEFUL... SLENDER... GENTLE... TENDER... WHERE ARE THE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE HER? MATTHEW ANGEL... LOVER... I DISCOVER THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HER. DOLITTLE EASIER BY FAR, SAY I, TO STEAL THE SKY FROM THE SONGBIRDS THAN TO FIND THE WORDS THAT SEEM RIGHT. MATTHEW HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE A DREAM RIGHT? DOLITTLE RARE ARE THE WORDS...... WHERE ARE THE WORDS? WHERE ARE THE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE HER? MATTHEW THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HER. ...EASIER BY FAR, SAY I, TO STEAL THE SKY FROM THE SONGBIRDS... DOLITTLE HOW TO FIND THE WORDS THAT SEEM RIGHT? HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE A DREAM RIGHT? BOTH RARE ARE THE WORDS... WHERE ARE THE WORDS? DOLITTLE I AM IN A RARE DILEMMA...... MATTHEW HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE MISS EMMA? BOTH FAIR ARE THE WORDS... WHERE ARE THE WORDS?... ----- I THINK I LIKE YOU EMMA FOR A MONTH OR MORE I HAVE LISTENED AND DREAMED, WHILE THE MOON HAS GLISTENED AND A MILLION STARS HAVE GLEAMED - WAITING! DOLITTLE Waiting? EMMA WAITING! DOLITTLE What for? EMMA FOR A MAN I KNOW WHO IS CLEVER AND KIND, BUT A MAN WHO NEVER EVER SEEMS TO KNOW HIS MIND - WAITING! WAITING! WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY YOU LIKE ME - OR HATE ME - OR MISS ME - OR KISS ME - OR SOMETHING! BUT NOTHING! NOTHING DO YOU SAY AT ALL! LITTLE WONDER, I FEEL SORELY NEGLECTED, UNWANTED, REJECTED AND SMALL! - LITTLE MORE THAN TWO FEET TALL!- LUCKY TO BE HERE AT ALL! DOLITTLE Emma, I - er - I THINK I LIKE YOU... YES, I THINK I DO! I THINK I LIKE YOU... I'M ALMOST SURE THAT I DO! I THINK I LIKE THE WAY YOU LOOK - THE WAY YOUR EYES REVEAL YOUR MIND... LIKE A PRECIOUS BOOK, THAT IS HARD TO FIND. I THINK I'M LEARNING SOMETHING STRANGE AND NEW... BUT WELL WORTH LEARNING, BECAUSE I'M LEARNING ABOUT YOU! LIKE DAWNING SUNSHINE WHEN A NEW DAY IS DUE, I THINK I LIKE YOUI - AND I THINK YOU LIKE ME, TOO!... DO YOU? EMMA DO YOU? BOTH DO YOU? EMMA YES, I DO... ...I'M ALMOST SURE THAT I DO... I THINK I LIKE THE WAY I FEEL EACH TTIME I FEEL YOUR EYES FEEL MINE - LIKE A GOURMET MEAL NEEDS A VINTAGE WINE...... I THINK I'M SEEING SOMETHING STRANGE BUT TRUE - FOR WHAT I'M SEEING IS SOMETHING WONDERFUL IN YOU! - LIKE FINDING APRIL WHEN DECEMBER IS DUE... I THINK I LIKE YOU... DOLITTLE I THINK I LIKE YOU..... BOTH AND I THINK YOU LIKE ME, TOO!..... DOLITTLE DO YOU? EMMA DO YOU? BOTH DO YOU? ----- SAVE THE ANIMALS STRAIGHT ARROW & COMPANY WE HAVE TO SAVE THE ANIMALS!.... WE'VE GOT TO SAVE THE ANIMALS!.... IF WE DO NOT, THEN VERY SOON THE LOT WILL BE EXTINCT! THE LAST PAIR OF THE SPECIES! THE FEMALE - YOU CAN SEE SHE'S SO TERRIFIED, SHE'D DIE IF WE BUT BLINKED! THE MESSAGE IS DISTURBING YET DISTINCT...... THE ANSWER IS STRAIGHTFORWARD AND SUCCINCT! WE'VE GOT TO SAVE ALL THE ANIMALS - SAVE THE ANIMALS - HEAVEN HELP US IF THEY DIE OF COLD! WE'VE GOT TO KEEP 'EM WARM AND COSY - DOSE 'EM TILL THEY'RE DOZY - PRIMATES LIKE THEIR CLIMATES WELL-CONTROLLED! WE MUST PROTECT ALL THE ANIMALS - EVERY ONE OF THEM - NOT ALLOW MANKIND TO BE UNKIND. AND PRAY THE CROCODILES THAT MAN BAGS DON'T END UP AS HANDBAGS - THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN THAT GOD DESIGNED. WE MUST DEFEND OUR DEATH-ENDANGERED DODOS - GUARD OUR GORILLAS, GANDERS, GOATS AND GEESE - PROTECT OUR PANTHERS, PUMAS, PIGS AND PELICANS - P'RAPS USING ELEPHANTS AS POLICE! WE MUST HAVE FAITH IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS - NOT JUST DREAM OF THINGS! THIS IS WHY I SEE THE MATTER THUS - WE MUST BRAVE ALL FOR THE ANIMALS - SAVE ALL THE ANIMALS - THAT IS WHY GOD GAVE US ALL THE ANIMALS! - SOME DAY THEY MAY SAVE US! JUST THINK ABOUT THE ANIMALS - AND LIFE WITHOUT THE ANIMALS! IMAGINE IF GIRAFFES AND CHIMPANZEES DID NOT EXIST! IF ALL THE BENGAL TIGERS WERE STUFFED IN A MUSEUM, EACH TIME WE WENT TO SEE 'EM THEY'D BE SORELY MISSED!... SO DON'T CROSS THEM OFF YOUR LIST!... THEY'RE THE FRIENDS WE MUST ASSIST! WE MUST HAVE FAITH IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS - NOT JUST DREAM OF THINGS! THIS IS WHY WE SEE THE MATTER THUS - WE MUST BRAVE ALL FOR THE ANIMALS SAVE ALL THE ANIMALS - THAT IS WHY GOD GAVE US ALL THE ANIMALS! - SOME DAY THEY MAY.....SAVE....US! STRAIGHT ARROW THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND BRAVE - THEY'RE THE GREATEST GIFT GOD GAVE! - AND THE TIME HAS COME TO SAVE THE ANIMALS! STRAIGHT ARROW & COMPANY YES, IT'S UP TO US TO SAVE........................... THE ANIMALS! ----- SOMETHING IN YOUR SMILE DOLITTLE My dear Miss Fairfax.....Emma....It is evening, and as I sit here by the sea.....I find my thoughts drifting .....to.....you. SOMETHING IN YOUR SMILE SPEAKS TO ME. SOMETHING IN YOUR EYES SHOWS ME THE WAY - AND HELPS ME TO SAY THE THINGS THAT I COULD NEVER SAY TO YOU. SOMETHING IN YOUR VOICE SINGS TO ME. SOMETHING IN YOUR LAUGH MAKES ME REJOICE, AND THERE IS NO CHOICE EXCEPT TO LET MY THOUGHTS ALL STRAY TO YOU, AND STRAY TO YOU THEY DO. SOMETHING IN YOU IS RICH AND RARE. AND THERE IS SOMETHING MORE. SOMETHING IN YOU IS EVERYTHING I'VE NEVER KNOWN BEFORE. FOR SOMETHING OF YOUR CHARM CLINGS TO ME. SOMETHING OF YOUR WARMTH HAS STAYED IN MY HEART - AND MADE ME A PART OF YOU FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE.... SO THINK OF ME AS SOMETHING IN YOUR SMILE. Yours sincerely, John Dolittle. Sea Star Island. September 24th, 1837. ----- MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR - REPRISE STRAIGHT ARROW MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS HE PLANS A VISIT TO THE MOON ABOARD THE LEPIDOPTEROUS LUNAR MOTH! AND ONLY HE - I GUARANTEE - WOULD FLY A MOTH TO PUDDLEBY! DOLITTLE IS A MAN CUT FROM A DIFFERENT CLOTH! MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR SAYS THE WORLD IS FULL OF FANTASY - AND WHO ARE YOU AND I TO DISAGREE? LETS HOPE AND PRAY THAT IS THE WAY THE LIFE WE LOVE WILL ALWAYS STAY FOR MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR AND ME! ----- THE VOICE OF PROTEST EMMA WE ARE THE CREATURES OF THE WORLD - AND WE WILL NOT TOLERATE A WORLD WHERE EVIL MEN LIKE YOU DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU DO! - YOU LET GOD'S CREATURES DIE! - WHILE YOU JUST RIDE ON BY! YOUR NOSES IN THE AIR! - AND NEVER SEEM TO CARE! - YOU NEVER SEEM TO CARE! BUT WE CARE!...... WE CARE! COMPANY WE CARE!...... EMMA & COMPANY AND IF THERE'S ONE VOICE OF PROTEST - AND THEN TWO VOICES PROTEST - AND THEN THREE VOICES PROTEST - AND THEN FOUR! - AND THEN MORE VOICES PROTEST - MORE AND MORE VOICES PROTEST - TILL THERE'S ONE VOICE OF PROTEST THAT'S A ROAR EMMA WE SHALL MAKE YOU MEND YOUR WAYS - TILL THE WORLD SEES BETTER DAYS - AND WE DON'T HAVE TO PROTEST ANY MORE! COMPANY NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO PROTEST ANY MORE! EMMA WE ARE THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD - BUT WHAT KIND OF FUTURE HAS THE WORLD WHEN MEN HAVE BRAINS OF LEAD? - COS NO-ONE THINKS AHEAD - AND THINGS WE LOVE ARE LOST - AND NO-ONE COUNTS THE COST - AND WHO CARES WHO BLAMES WHO? COS NO-ONE GIVES A SOU! - NO, NO-ONE GIVES A SOU! BUT WE DO! COMPANY WE DO! - WE DO! AND IF THERE'S ONE VOICE OF PROTEST - AND THEN TWO VOICES PROTEST - AND THEN THREE VOICES PROTEST - AND THEN FOUR! - AND THEN MORE VOICES PROTEST - MORE AND MORE VOICES PROTEST - TILL THERE'S ONE VOICE OF PROTEST THAT'S A ROAR WE SHALL MAKE YOU MEND YOUR WAYS - TILL THE WORLD SEES BETTER DAYS - AND WE DON'T HAVE TO PROTEST ANY MORE! NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO PROTEST ANY MORE!

    


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