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(DOIN' IT) THE HARD WAY From the film "Duffy's Tavern" (1945) (Jimmy Van Heusen / Johnny Burke) Betty Hutton (Film Soundtrack) - 1945 At the early age of three It first occured to me A girl should always try to improve herself While the others played with toys I practiced charm and poise And finished Dr. Elliot's five foot shelf I exercised each morning Cold creamed my face each night Saw my dentist twice a year Curbed my appetite And so I modestly admit It didn't help one single bit! Some girls can make any man dream By flashin' an innocent gleam. Me, I do and hiccup, curl my upper lip up Light a roman candle and scream I have to do it the hard way Some girls can wear any old rags And capture the wolves and the stags. Me, I dress in sables, walk across the tables Waving three American flags I have to do it the hard way Let's say there's a dance They're playing a waltz And I want romance That's when I begin turnin' somersaults Some girls can keep men on their toes By smilin' and throwin' a rose, Me, I wrack my noodle, whistle "Yankee Doodle" Balancing a broom on my nose Oh, Im a-tellin' you why I have to do it the hard way My freshman year in college I remember I was mild I wore pretty clothes, got an A in Geometry A normal child But nobody wanted to date me I'd sit at home and dream So in order to get attention I had to scream The fellas liked girls who wore perfume So I bought Forbidden Flower But I had to mix it with ether To get them in my power I didn't wanna go crazy But I ain't kidding, Jack Since that time I'm telling you I'm A raving, ranting, impetuous, panning, violent maniac The girls who read books and wear specs Get fellas with great intellects Me, I get fanatics Guys who live in attics Yes, I even pick up the checks I have to do it the hard way Suppose there's a park A boy on a bench I'm out for a lark So I make him fall with a monkey wrench When someone like Hedy Lamarr Steps into the swankiest bar All the fellas get up Light her cigarette up Me, I'd have to smoke a cigar And then they call me a car Doin' everything the hard way! (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - October 2009)

    


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