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DOTTY THE CUCKOO Captain Beaky & His Band (featuring Noel Edmonds) Dotty a short-sighted cuckoo Laid an egg in a discarded hat A silly mistake, but easy to make When your eyesight's as dodgy as that An elderly tramp passed and saw it And said "It's your lucky day Fred A discarded hat, I think I'll have that It's just the right size for me head" Three weeks, night and day, Fred wore it Til one day, in the pub with a beer The hat rose, then fell, and Fred with a yell Said "There's something just nibbled me ear!" An old lady fainted, the barman went white As a small yellow beak came in view And the purple-nosed colonel said "Heavens, I'm tight And it's only a quarter to two" The hat was removed to reveal a small bird Cried the landlord "Quick, phone reporters" Said the bird "When you do, give my name I'm Size Two, Harrods, Six and Three Quarters" (Contributed by Andy & Mogg - February 2004)

    


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