EARL'S A WINGER
(Richard Digance - A parody of Leiber & Stoller's "Pearl's A Singer")

Richard Digance - 1977



Earl's a winger
He plays for his local team ev'ry Sunday
Wife permittin'

Earl's a winger
And some say that he eats centre-halfs for dinner
But he's only nine-stone-six
And his legs are like matchsticks
And he eats omelettes.........omelettes?

Earl's a winger
And they say that he plays like a beginner
He's pathetic

Earl's a winger
And he thought that he once scored a winner
He thought he'd won his team the Cup
But they were only warmin' up
It never counted

He wanted to be Billy Bremner
So he got his marchin' orders last September
He got a red card when he threw a toilet roll
At the crowd behind the goal

Earl's a winger
And he once had a trial for Tranmere Rovers
He never made it.......oh shite!

Earl's a winger
And they say that he plays like a beginner
His job is kickin' people's shins
Takin' corners and throw-ins
But he's useless

(Earl's a winger)
(He gets up and he plays ev'ry Sunday)
Wife permittin' like

(Earl's a winger)
(And they say that he plays like a beginner)
(His job is kicking people's shins)
(Taking corners and throw-ins)
But he's useless

(Oh, oh dear)


(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2012)