EEH! AH! OH! OOH!
(Carbone)
The Goons - 1956
(Sellers) Friends, pick up that bottle you will finding standing in
the centre of your dining room table
(Secombe) Now examine it closely and read what it says on the very
small print on the back of the label
(Sellers) Note that it's contents are invaluable for pea soup,
falling ears, irritation of the nurglers, exterminating socks and
preserving eggs
(Milligan) And that doctors strongly recommend it as a cure for the
lurgi, the on-set of the nadgers, spots before the ankles, soft
shoulders, pink toenail and acute amounting on the legs
So ooooo (ow!)
If you're turning pimply and your knees are turning blue
Don't be nervous simply, try Eeh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ooh!
Practice every morning and you'll find that you
Almost without warning will be Eeh! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ooh!
(Secombe) Combat, cure infection with this latest thing
Follow the directions and PING!
(Milligan) Now the nights are colder you'll find what to do
Write on the folder: Just Eeh! Ah! Oh! Ooh!
(Sellers?) When the flame affects you, or you got the flu
You find what protects you is Eeh! Ah! Nicky! Nu!
Better than the whisky, brandy gin or glue
Makes your liver frisky does Eeh! Or! Ah! Nu!
(Milligan/Eccles) And for making company or friends try some in your
coffee
And ya ha ya ya ha
(Secombe) So if you get heated, don't get defeated
Hold your breath, be seated and Eeh! Ah! Oh!
(All) So when your out of funds and the rent is due
Just a tiny spoonful will do
And Oh! Ah! Arg! Oh! Glug! Arg! Arc! Arg! Ooh!
[Disgusting Donkey noises]
(Sellers/Bloodnok) Oh -- Oh! that's better! Rhymes ------
(Secombe) I'm going to hold a rhyming comptetion
To prove that England is the greatest still
But if I don't like the rhyme that you have written
I reserve the right, the poet for to kill!
(Sellers/Thynee) This could mean the big time!
Have you heard of this man Moriarty
Who's never appeared with Russell Harty
(Milligan/Moriarty) The reason is this: I was out on the
(All) That was a terrible rhyme --
(Secombe) who's the next victim -- that' you
(Sellers/Bloodnok) A nobleman from old Bohemia
Whose daughter was christined Euphemia
Though she was a real stunner, she married a gunner
With chancres and haemiophilia!
(All) That was a wonderful rhyme sign us another one,do!
(Milligan/Moriarty) The reason is this: I was out on the
(Sellers/Bloodnok) Right in the old Niagaras
(Sellers/Bluebottle) There was a young lady of Tottingham
Who had no manners or had forgotten them
At tea at the Vicar's, she ripped off her knickers
Because she said she felt hot in 'em
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Milligan/Minnie) Why aren't I in this recording
(Milligan/Eccles) There was a young man of Tralee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked did it hurt, he replied not at all.
It can't
(All) That was an unfinished ryhme. Sing us another one do
(Sellers/Rough) Morning hard on the nurdle
In arm with the bird and the burdle
The old fargon goo, he done riden the blue
And he grundled the gwreds and the gwrelds
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Milligan/Japanese) There was a young man from Yokohomo
Who marry a girl from Kawmow
On honeymoon night, bed catch alite
So he get up and put on pyjammas
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Sellers/German) There was a young Nazi from Berlin
Fought for Hitler in hopes that he would win
Now he cleans all the shoes of the Golders Green Jews
Boy have they got it in for him!
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Milligan/Indian1) There was a young man called Ghandi
(Sellers/Indian2) Ghandi is right
(Indian1) Who went in to the bar for the Shandy
(Indian2) You are right absolutely
(Indian1) With his great loin cloth he wipes off the froth
And the barman says "Blimey, that's handy"
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Eccles) Well that's the end of that
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Bloodnok) Look, I have several others rhymes unsung
(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do
(Minnie) Stop! Stop! Stop!
FX: (various fading out complaints)
(Moriarity) The reason was this, I was out on the
FX: (gunshot!)
