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EVERY TIME (Eddie Jacobson / Olly Thomas / Dave Crane / Damien Green) Butterfingers Every time I clean my room I make another mess Every time I miss the bus Iím late for a test Every time Iím reincarnated itís in the lowest form I leave my window open every time there is a storm Every time I have a hang over I have to go to work Every time I masturbate dry it tends to hurt Every time I pat a dog he bites me on the hand Every time I talk to aliens they donít understand Every time I skate I get another bruise Every time I get drunk I vomit on my shoes Every time I scratch the needle jumps Every time I drink milk it comes out in lumps Every time I freestyle I just talk shit Every time I catch the bus thereís nowhere to sit Every time I catch the train Iím hassled for a ticket Every time I bat in cricket first ball takes a wicket Every time Iím drunk at a party in a toga I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga Every time I eat I get a pain in my chest Every time I think itís heartburn itís cardiac arrest Every time I make a phone call waiting interrupts Every time I dump a load at someoneís house it wonít flush Every time it wonít flush it stains the ceramic If you ever see me happy itís because Iím manic (Chorus) Born to fail Born to fail Every time I give advice it comes out wrong Every time I get raided my lips are on the bong Every time I score I get shitty leaf I was living with another hobo until he heard me dis his chief But every time we smoke a joint I end up with the roach Every time I skip sport I get drilled by the coach Every time I play footy I get tackled in the dirt And I crack another rib and it really fucking hurts Every time I brush my teeth I find another cavity Every time I try to fly I discover gravity Every time I have a craving of weíre out of food Every time we spin the bottle Iím the one who ends up nude Every time I give a girl an orgasm she fakes Every time I jam it in the condom breaks Every time I gamble I lose all my chips And every time I eat all bran I get the shits But every time I shit it takes about an hour And thereís never any paper so I have to have a shower But every time I shower the towelís already wet And itís not wet with water but wet with cum and sweat Every time I pluck my pubic hairs to make my self attractive My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic Every time I write a song radio stations ban it Because when you play my records in reverse theyíre satanic Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Every time I make a joke people take me serious Every time I go down on a girl sheís on her periods Every time I drive a car a cop will pull me over But I say that Iím someone else and that Iím sober Every blind date turns out to be blind My looks are all I have and that is why I mind Every time I have the dream where Iím at the school dance Every one is looking at me cos I donít have any pants Every time we play piggy in the middle Iím the pig Every time we play tiggy Iím the one whoís it Every time I lick a toad I get worts on my tongue And every time I see a killer bee itís when Iím getting stung Every time I play scrabble I make the word ďATĒ Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat Every time I fuck your mum she wants it in the bum And every time Iím done itís not because Iíve cum Every time I crack onto a chick I pull my sack out Every time I try to suck my dick I put my back out Every time I catch a wave I hit a coral reef And every time I order vegetarian I get beef (Chorus) x2 Born to fail (I get paid) Born to fail (a chick is not a vegetable) (Contributed by Adam Brooker - September 2003)

    


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