FRED
(Ray Stevens)


Ray Stevens - 1984





Well, Fred was a dog I used to own
He used to answer the telephone
And ev'ry now and then he'd take the truck into town for groceries

Yeah, Fred and I got along real well
At the checkerboard old Fred was hell
And he never minded takin' turns at doin' the dishes

Now, when Fred was just about three years old
He started actin' kinda bold
An he's chasin' after that beagle down across the highway

Well, he was down there ev'ry day and night
And I said, "Fred, you know you're gonna have to fight"
And he said, "Well, I've already whipped ev'rything between here and the railroad"

Fred, you are a good dog
But the women got you runnin' wild and crazy as a loon
Fred, you are a good dog
But your chasin' cars, hangin' out at bars an' howlin' at the moon

Well, now one night old Fred came stragglin' in
He's lookin' bad, but he pullin' a grin 
He said "'Mone, I just took a wife and I want you to meet her"

Well, now she didn't really have much to say
And it's plain to see she's in the family way
She said, "Fred, you better whip on back and get my suitcase"

Well, Fred never made it to the other side
'Cause right in the middle of the road he died
Flattened by a trucker haulin' dog food

Now old Fred's gone, she's livin' here
Just yappin' at her kids and drinkin' my beer
And she won't drive the truck, nor do the dishes

Fred, you were a good dog
But you never knew when to chase 'em or when to turn around and run
Yeah, Fred, you were a good dog
But now you're flat out on the freeway and dryin' in the sun

You know, old Fred's gone and I'm kinda glad
'Cause if he were here now, he'd sure be mad
'Cause ain't one of them pups looks anything like him

Yeah, Fred, you were a good dog
But you never knew when to chase 'em or when to turn around and run
Oh, Fred, you were a good dog
But now you're flat out on the freeway and dryin' in the sun
Flat out on the freeway and dryin' in the sun






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - July 2012)