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GERTCHA! (Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock) Chas & Dave - 1979 Now there's a word that I don't understand I hear it every day from my old man It may be Cockney rhymin' slang It ain't in no school book He says it every time that he gets mad A regular caution is my old dad Rub the old man up the wrong way Bet your life you'll hear him say Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When the kids are swingin' on the gate Gertcha! When the paperboy's half an hour late Gertcha! When the pigeons are pecking at his seed Gertcha! When a barker starts diggin' up his beans Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you Bar stool preachin' That's the old man's game Now the old man was a Desert Rat Khaki shorts and a khaki hat How me mother could have fancied that I just don't know But when the enemy came in sight They gave up without a fight 'Cause they rubbed him up the wrong way This is what they heard him say Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When me rock and roll records wake him up Gertcha! When the Poles knocked England out the cup Gertcha! When the kids are banging on his door Gertcha! When the barman won't serve him any more Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you Bar stool preachin' He's always been the same Oye! (Instrumental Break) Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When the dog's left a message on the step Gertcha! Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck Gertcha! When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes Gertcha! When the houseflies are flyin' round his food Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you Bar stool preachin' He's always been the same Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! When me mother says he can't go down the pub Gertcha! Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club Gertcha! Them tomcats, when they're kicking up a din Gertcha! Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in Gertcha! When me mother locks him out the flat Gertcha! When it's rainin' and he can't find his hat Gertcha! In the mornin's when his motorcar won't go Gertcha! Next door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! (Transcribed by Bill Huntley and Mel Priddle - August 2013)

    


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