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GETTING MARRIED TODAY From the Show "Company" (Stephen Sondheim) Recorded by: Beth Howland; Julie; Madeline Kahn; Millicent Martin. CHOIRGIRL: Bless this day, Pinnacle of life, Husband joined to wife. The heart leaps up to behold This golden day. PAUL: Today is for Amy, Amy, I give you the rest of my life, To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever. Today is for Amy, My happily soon-to-be wife. AMY: Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, I'd appreciate your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things to do, and not a word of this to Paul, remember Paul, you know, the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is-- Thank you all For the gifts and the flowers, Thank you all, Now it's back to the showers, Don't tell Paul, But I'm not getting married today. CHOIRGIRL: Bless this day, Tragedy of life, Husband joined to wife. The heart sinks down and feels dead This dreadful day. AMY: Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for, a wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should-- Thanks a bunch, But I'm not getting married-- Go have lunch, 'Cause I'm not getting married-- You've been grand, But I'm not getting married-- Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married-- And don't tell Paul, But I'm not getting married today. Go, can't you go? Why is no- Body listening? Goodbye, Go and cry At another person's wake. If you're quick, For a kick, You could pick Up a christening, But please, On my knees, There's a human life at stake! Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Paul who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to see him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage-- I'm not well, So I'm not getting married-- You've been swell, But I'm not getting married-- Clear the hall, 'Cause I'm not getting married-- Thank you all, But I'm not getting married-- And don't tell Paul, But I'm not getting married today. CHOIRGIRL: Bless this bride, Totally insane, Slipping down the drain. And bless this day in our hearts As it starts To rain. PAUL: AMY: Today is for Go, can't you go? Amy, Look, you know Amy, I adore you all, I give you But why The rest of Watch me die My life, Like Eliza on the ice? To cherish Look, perhaps And to keep you, I'll collapse To honor you In the apse Forever, Right before you all, Today is for Amy, So take My happily Back the cake, Soon-to-be Burn the shoes and boil the rice. Wife, Look, I didn't wanna have to My adorable tell you, but I may be coming Wife. down with Hepatitis, and I think I'm gonna faint, so if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily, but wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral, so thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates, thirty-seven butter knives, forty-seven paperweights, fifty-seven candleholders-- PAUL: One more thing-- AMY: I am not getting married! CHOIR: Amen! PAUL: Softly said-- AMY: But I'm not getting married! CHOIR: Amen! PAUL: With this ring-- AMY: Still I'm not getting married! CHOIR: Amen! PAUL: I thee wed. AMY: See, I'm not getting married! CHOIR: Amen! PAUL: AMY: Let us pray Let us pray That we are getting married That I'm not getting married Today! Today! CHOIR: AMEN!!!

    


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