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GIGGLING GERTIE - THE LAUGHING TRAFFIC WARDEN "An update of Charles Penrose's "Laughing Policeman") Bernard Cribbens I know a traffic warden, she's always on our street She's blonde and fat with yellow hat and very hard to beat Just park an extra minute and she'll pop up all in smiles When she's 'andin' you a ticket you can 'ear 'er laugh for miles (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) She's marvellous, ain't she The kids 'round here call her 'Giggling Gertie' Look at 'er, she's like a stranded whale Ha, gor blimey! She laughs while she is watching for another traffic crime She yells with glee if she can see the hand go overtime You run to feed the meter, but she's always got there first Stickin' somethin' on your windscree, still laughin' fit to burst (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) She's marvellous Ev'rytime she bumps, she bounces And you notice that at no time do her arms leave her body A driver tried to woo her to avoid a parking fine He said, "It's dark, let's have a lark, come, press your lips to mine" So, she let him stop her laughin' as beside the car they lay Then at last she said, "I'll 'ave to laugh, they've towed your car away" (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) There used to be two of 'em, ya know But her mate got run over She laughed so much, she was off work for three weeks So, if you should ever see her as she prowls around the place Find if you can, with car or van, a lawful parking space For while she's only laughing at a simple meter fine You'll 'ave 'er in hysterics on a double yeller line (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) There she goes again (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) Ain't it marvellous (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) I don't care, it's not my car (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) You resistable old bat (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) Why don't you get a proper job (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) I 'ope you break your knicker elastic (Ah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah) (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - June 2008)

    


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