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GYPSY (1959) Book : Arthur Laurents (Music : Jule Styne / Lyrics : Stephen Sondheim) 1.Overture ***** 2.Let Me Entertain You Baby June Make me entertain you Make me see you smile I will do some kicks Oh! Louise I will do some tricks Momma Rose Sing out, Louise! June I'll tell you a story... Louise I'll dance when she's done Uncle Jocko Who said that? Who's out there, George? George I don't know, I got all the mothers out of here! Just like you told me! June and Louise Are you ready to smile? Rose You're behind, Louise Get upon it! June and Louise Well, I'll try that through Entertaining you Uncle Jocko Who's that? Rose Sing out, Louise! Louise and June You'll love our lullaby Uncle Jocko Get that mother out of here! George Lady... ***** 3.Some People Momma Rose Anybody that stays home is dead If I die it won't be from sitting It will be from fighting to get up and get out! Some people can get a thrill knitting sweaters and sitting still. That's okay for some people who don't know they're alive. Some people can thrive and bloom living life in the living room. That's perfect for some people of one hundred and five. But I at least gotta try when I think of all the sights that I gotta see and all the places I gotta play, all the things that I gotta be at. Come on, papa, what do you say? Some people can be content playing bingo and paying rent. That's peachy for some people, for some hum-drum people to be, but some people ain't me! I had a dream, a wonderful dream, papa, all about June in the Orpheum circuit. Gimme a chance and I know I can work it. I had a dream. Just as real as can be, papa. There I was in Mr. Orpheum's office and he was saying to me, "Rose, get yourselves some new orchestrations, new routines and red velvet curtains. Get a feathered hat for the baby; photographs in front of the theatre. Get an agent and in jig time you'll be being booked in the big time." Oh, what a dream. A wonderful dream, papa. And all that I need is eighty-eight bucks, papa. That's what he said, papa. Only eighty-eight bucks. Papa You ain't gettin' eighty-eight cents from me, Rose. Rose Well, I'll get it someplace else! But I'll get it! And get my kids out! Goodbye to blueberry pie. Good riddance to all the socials I had to go to, all the lodges I had to play, all the shriners I said hello to. Hey, L.A., I'm comin' your way! Some people sit on their butts; got the dream, yeah, but not the guts. That's living for some people, for some hum-drum people I suppose. Well, they can stay and rot! But not Rose! ****** 4.Small World Momma Rose Funny, you're a stranger who's come here, come from another town. Funny, I'm a stranger myself here. Small world, isn't it? Funny, you're a man who goes traveling rather than settling down. Funny, 'cause I'd love to go traveling. Small world, isn't it? We have so much in common, it's a phenomenon. We could pool our resources by joining forces from now on. Lucky, you're a man who likes children. That's an important sign. Lucky, I'm a woman with children. Small world, isn't it? Funny, isn't it small and funny and fine? Herbie We have so much in common, it's a phenomenon. We could pool our resources by joining forces from now on. Momma Rose Lucky, you're a man who likes children. Herbie That's an important sign. Momma Rose Lucky, Herbie You're a Momma Rose & Herbie woman with children. Small world, isn't it? Momma Rose Funny, isn't it Herbie isn't it Momma Rose & Herbie small and funny and fine? ***** 5.Baby June and Her Newsboys Newsboys: Extra! extra! Extra! Hey, look at the headline Historical news Is being made Extra! Extra! They're drawing a red line around the biggest scoop Of the decade a barrel of charm a fabulous thrill the biggest little headline In vaudeville Presenting...in person... That 3' foot 3 Bundle of dynamite... Baby...June! (applause) Baby June: Hello, everybody. My name is June. What's yours? Let me entertain you Let me make you smile Let me do a few tricks Some old and then Some new tricks I'm very versatile And if you're real good I'll make you feel good Want your spirits To climb So let me entertain you Oh! And we'll have A real good time, yes, sir! We'll have A real good Time (tap dance) ***** 6.Mr. Goldstone Herbie: Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone. Momma Rose Have an eggroll, Mr. Goldstone. Have a napkin, have a chopstick, have a chair. Have a spare rib, Mr. Goldstone. Any spare that I can spare I'll be glad to share! Have a dish, have a fork, have a fish, have a pork. Put your feet up. Feel at home. Have a smoke, have a Coke. Would you like to hear a joke? I'll have June recite a poem! Have a leechie, Mr. Goldstone. Tell me any little thing that I can do. Ginger peachy, Mr. Goldstone. Have a kumquat, have two! Everybody give a cheer. Santa Claus is sitting here. Mr. Goldstone I love you! Have a Goldstone, Mr. Eggroll. Tell me any little thing that I can do. Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce. Have a cookie, have a few! What's the matter, Mr. G? Have another pot of tea. Mr. Goldstone I love you! Herbie There are good stones and bad stones and curbstones and gladstones and touchstones and such stones as them. Rose: There are big stones and small stones and grind stones and gall stones, All: but Goldstone is a gem! There are milestones, there are mill stones. There's a cherry, there's a yellow, there's a blue. But we don't want any old stone, only Goldstone will do! Moon stones, sun stones. We all scream for one stone. Mr. Goldstone we love you! Goldstone! ***** 7.Little Lamb Louise Little lamb, little lamb My birthday is here at last Little lamb, little lamb My birthday goes by so fast Little bear, little bear You sit on my right Right there Little hen, little hen What game should we play and when? Little cat, little cat Oh, why do you look so blue? Did somebody paint you like that, Or is your birthday too? Little fish, little fish Do you think I'll get my wish? Little lamb, little lamb I wonder how old I am I wonder how old I am Little lamb ***** 8.You'll Never Get Away From Me Rose Herbie, why don't you get angry on the outside, instead of letting it settle in your stomach? Herbie Because I'm afraid. Rose Of me? Herbie Of me. Rose What do you mean? Herbie If ever let loose, It'll end with me Picking up and walking. Rose Only around The block. Herbie No. Rose Don't say that. You'll never get away from me. You can climb the tallest tree. I'll be there somehow. True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat." But a little thing like that couldn't stop me now. I couldn't get away from you, even if you told me to, so go on and try. Just try and you're gonna see how you're gonna not at all get away from me. Herbie Rose, I love you, but don't count your chickens. Rose Come dance with me. Herbie I warn you that I'm no Boy Scout. Rose Relax awhile, come dance with me. Herbie So don't think that I'm easy pickin'. Rose The music's so nice. Herbie Rose, 'cause I just may some day pick up and pack out. Rose Oh, no you don't. No, not a chance. No arguments, shut up and dance. Rose You'll never get away from me. You can climb the tallest tree. I'll be there somehow. True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat." Rose & Herbie But a little Herbie thing like that couldn't stop me now. Rose & Herbie I couldn't get away from you, even if I wanted to. Rose Well, go on and try. Just try Herbie Ah, Rose. Rose and you're gonna see Herbie Ah, Rose Rose how you're gonna not at all Rose & Herbie get away from me. (KISS) ***** 9.Dainty June And Her Farmboys Farmboys extra! Extra! hey, look at The headline historical news Is being made Extra! Extra! they're drawing A red line around the biggest scoop Of the decade a barrel of charm a fabulous thrill the biggest little headline In vaudeville presenting in person that 5' 2" Bundle of dynamite dainty...June (drum roll) June Hello, everybody! My name is June! What's yours? (music playing) I have a moo cow a new cow, A true cow named Caroline Louise moo, moo, moo, moo June she's an extra-special friend of mine Louise moo, moo, moo, moo June I like everything about her fine Louise moo, moo, Moo, moo June she likes to moo in The moonlight when the moody moon Appears and when she moos in The moonlight gosh, it's moosic To my ears she's so moosical she loves a man cow, A tan cow who can cow her With a glance Louise moo, moo, Moo, moo June when he winks at her she starts to dance Louise moo, moo, moo, moo June it's what grown-ups call A real romance Louise moo, moo, moo, moo June but if we moooved To the city or we settled By the shore she'd make the mooove 'cause she Loves me more (music ends) Woman Thank you very much. That's all. Rose But we have a great finish. Woman I'm sure, But mr. Grantziger-- Rose Ah...hit it! (music playing) Farmboys broadway broadway we miss it so we're leaving soon And taking June to star her in a show bright lights white lights rhythm and romance the train is late, So while we wait we're gonna do A little dance June Broadway Broadway how great you are I'll leave the farm With all its charm to be a Broadway star bright lights white lights where the neons glow my bag is packed, I've got my act so all aboard, C'mon, let's go Farmboys Let's go (train whistle blowing) June Wait! Stop the train. Stop the music. Stop everything! I can't go to Broadway With you. Farmboy Why not, dainty June? June Because... I'm staying here With Caroline, my favorite cow! Farmboys Yay! Yay! (playing the stars and stripes forever) (music ends) **** 10.If Momma Was Married Louise I wish Momma would marry a plain man so we could all be together... If Momma was married We'd live in a house As private as private can be Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, A mouse, two monkeys, one father, six turtles And me... If Momma was married June If Momma was married I'd jump in the air And give all my toe shoes to you I'd get all those hair ribbons Out of my hair And once and for all I'd get Momma out too... If Momma was married Louise You've done it before June Without much success! Both Momma, God speed and God bless We're not keeping score What's one more or less Oh, Momma, say: yes And waltz down the hall While you may Louise I'll gladly support you I'll even escort you... June And I'd gladly give you away Both Oh,. Momma, get married today! June If Momma was married there wouldn't be anymore: "Let me entertain you, let me make you smile! I would do some kicks!" Louise "I would do some tricks!" June Sing out, Louise! Louise Smile, baby! Momma, please take our advice We aren't The Lunts June I'm not Fanny Brice Both Momma, we'll buy you the rice If only this once You wouldn't think twice It could be so nice If Momma got married to stay Louise But Momma gets married June And... Louise Married June And... Louise Married Both And never gets carried away Oh, Momma... Oh, Momma... Oh, Momma... Get married today! ***** 11.All I Need Is The Girl Tulsa Well, you see, I'll pretend I'm at home getting ready for a date. I take a comb, comb my hair Take a flower, smell it, put it in my lapel And I spot the audience! Once my clothes are shabby Tailors call me cabby So I take a vow Said this bum would be Beau Brummel Now I'm smooth and sappy Now my tailor's happy I'm the cats meow My wardrobe is a wow! Paris silk! Harry's tweed! There's only one thing I need... Got my tweed crest Got my best vest All I need now is the girl Got my striped tie Got my hopes high Got the time and the place And I got rhythm Now all I need is the girl to go with them If she just appear we'll take this big town for a world And if she say my darling I'm yours I'll throw away my striped tie And my best crest tweed All I really need is the girl [speaking] I start off easy, you see? Now I'm more debonair... Ssssssssssssssh! Aaaaah! Break ... Now! Yeah! And I settle here... I start this step, see? And then I build it... Double it! She appears all in white and I take her hand, Kiss it and lead her on the floor... This step's good for the costume...Astaire's pat! Dah dah dah dah...Dah dah dah dah yah dah... Now we waltz, springs come in And I lift her...Again... Once more! And now the tempo changes and all the lights come up And I build for the finale Louise, that's it! Come on over here... Follow me... Faster! Charleston... Again... Do it again! Ha ha ha! ***** 12.Everything's Coming Up Roses Momma Rose (Speaking) Finish? We're just beginning and there's no one to stop at this time! I had a dream, a dream about you, baby. It's gonna come true, baby. They think that we're through, but baby, You'll be swell! You'll be great! Gonna have the whole world on the plate! Starting here, starting now, honey, everything's coming up roses! Clear the decks! Clear the tracks! You've got nothing to do but relax. Blow a kiss. Take a bow. Honey, everything's coming up roses! Now's your inning. Stand the world on it's ear! Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning! Curtain up! Light the lights! You got nothing to hit but the heights! You'll be swell. You'll be great. I can tell. Just you wait. That lucky star I talk about is due! Honey, everything's coming up roses for me and for you! You can do it, all you need is a hand. We can do it, Mama is gonna see to it! Curtain up! Light the lights! We got nothing to hit but the heights! I can tell, wait and see. There's the bell! Follow me! And nothing's gonna stop us 'til we're through! Honey, everything's coming up roses and daffodils! Everything's coming up sunshine and Santa Claus! Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops! Everything's coming up roses for me and for you! ***** 13.Together Momma Rose Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna go through it together. We may not go far, but sure as a star, wherever we are, it's together. Wherever I go I know he goes. Wherever I go I know she goes. No fits, no fights, no feuds and no egos, Amigos, together! Through thick and through thin, all out or all in. And whether it's win, place or show. With you for me and me for you, we'll muddle through whatever we do. Together, wherever we go. Rose, Louise & Herbie Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna go through it together. Rose Wherever we sleep, if prices are steep, Herbie We'll always sleep cheaper together. Rose Whatever the boat I row, you row. Herbie A duo Rose Whatever the row I hoe, you hoe. Louise A trio. Rose And any I. O. U., I owe you-oh's? Herbie Who, me-oh? No, you-oh. Louise No, we-oh. Rose, Louise & Herbie Together! We all take the bow Rose Including the cow, Rose, Louise & Herbie though business is lousy and slow. Rose With Herbie's vim, Louise's verve, Louise & Herbie Now all we need is someone with nerve. Rose Together Louise & Herbie Together Rose Wherever Louise & Herbie Wherever Rose Together, wherever, Rose, Louise & Herbie Together, wherever we go. Rose We go in a group, Rose, Louise & Herbie We tour in a troupe. We land in the soup, but we know the things we do, we do by threes. A perfect team. Rose No, this way, Louise! Together Louise & Herbie Together Rose Wherever Louise & Herbie Wherever Rose, Louise & Herbie Together, wherever we go! ***** 14.You Gotta Have A Gimmick Mazeppa You can pull all the stops out Till they call the cops out Grind your behind till you're bend. But you gotta get a gimmick If you wanna get a hand. You can sacrifice your sacharo Working in the back row. Bump in a dump till you're dead. Kid you gotta have a gimmick If you wanna get ahead. You can uh...You can uh... You can uh...uh...uh... That's how Burlesque was born. So I uh...and I uh... And I uh...uh...uh... But I do it with a horn... Once I was a Schleppa, Now I'm Miss Mazzeppa, With my revolution in dance. You gotta have a gimmick If you wanna have a chance! Electra She can uh... She can uh... She can uh...uh...uh... They'll never make her pitch. Me, I uh... and I uh... And I uh...uh...uh... But I do it with a switch. I'm electrifying And I ain't even trying. I never had to sweat to get paid 'Cause if you got a gimmick Gypsy girl, you got it made. Tessie Tura All them uh and then uh... And that uh...uh...uh... Ain't gonna spell success. Me, I uh... and I uh... And I uh...uh...uh... But I do it with finesse. Lady Tura is so much more then purer Than all them other ladies because- You gotta get a gimmick If you wanna get applause. ALL Do something special Anything special And you'll get better because Come on and just do mimic When you gotta gimmick Take a look how different we are! Electra If you wanna make it, Twinkle while you shake it. Tura If you wanna grind it, Wait till you refined it. Mazeppa If you wanna stump it, Bump it with a trumpet! ALL Get yourself a gimmick and you too, Can be a star! ***** 15.The Strip M.C. The Wichita, one and only burlesque theater, presents Miss Gypsy Rose Lee Gypsy Let me entertain you Let me make you smile Momma Rose Sing out, Louise! Gypsy Let me do a few tricks Some old and then some new tricks I'm very versatile And if you're real good I'll make you feel good I'd want your spirit to climb So let me entertain you We'll have a real good time, Yes sir! We'll have... A real good time! Theater Manager Do something! Momma Rose Yeah! Theater Manager Take something off! Gypsy Momma! Momma Rose A ... glove! But say something! Gypsy Hello! Hello...everybody! My name is Gypsy Rose Lee... What's yours! Mr. Conductor, if you please! So, let me entertain you... And we'll have a real good time, yes, sir! We'll have... A real good time! M.C. And now, Minsky's well famous Burlesque Presents the queen of the strip-tease, the incomparable, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee and our salutes to the Garden of Eden! Gypsy Pick up your apples girls and back to the trees! Bon soir, monsieur et monsieur! Je m'appelle Gypsy Rose Lee And that concludes my entire performance in French, I've been too busy learning Greek Where were you last night? Some men accused me of being an enthusiast Do you know what that means? Do you? Do you? Oh, you do! Aha! He's embarrassed! Don't be embarrassed... I like man without hair! An enthusiast is one who or that which Sheds its skin in vulgar paroles: a stripper But I'm not a stripper! At these prices I'm an enthusiast! And if you're real good I'll make you feel good I want you spirit to climb Let me entertain you And well have a real good time, yes, sir! We'll have... A real good time! ***** 16.Rose's Turn Rose Here she is, boys! Here she is, world! Here's Rose! Curtain up! Light the lights! Play it, boys! Ya either got it, or ya ain't. And, boys, I got it! Ya like it? Well, I got it! Some people got it and make it pay. Some people can't even give it away. This people's got it and this people's spreadin' it around! You either have it or you've had it! Hello, everybody! My name is Rose! What's yours? How do you like them eggrolls, Mr. Goldstone? Hold your hats and hallelujah. Mama's gonna show it to you. Ready or not, shhh, here comes Mama. Mama's talkin' loud. Mama's doin' fine. Mama's gettin' hot. Mama's goin' stong. Mama's movin' on. Mama's all alone. Mama doesn't care. Mama's lettin' loose. Mama's got the stuff. Mama's lettin' go. Mama? Mama's got the stuff. Mama's gotta move. Mama's gotta go. Mama? Mama? Mama's gotta let go. Why did I do it? What did it get me? Scrapbooks full of me in the background. Give 'em love and what does it get ya? What does it get ya? One quick look as each of 'em leaves you. All your life and what does it get ya? Thanks a lot and out with the garbage, They take bows and you're battin' zero. I had a dream. I dreamed it for you, June. It wasn't for me, Herbie. And if it wasn't for me then where would you be, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee? Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn? Don't I get a dream for myself? Starting now it's gonna be my turn. Gangway, world, get off of my runway! Starting now I bat a thousand! This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and everything's coming up Rose! Everything's coming up roses! Everything's coming up roses this time for me! For me! For me! For me! For me! For me! For me! Yeah! (Rose takes the silent bows as Gypsy enters and applauds) Rose I was...trying out for you...New ideas you might wanna use... Gypsy You really would have been something, momma! Rose Do you think so? Gypsy If you had someone to push you like I had... Rose If I could have been...I would have been... And that's show business! I guess I did it for me... Gypsy Why, momma? Rose Just wanted to be noticed... Gypsy Like I wanted you to notice me! I still do, momma! (They embrace each other. Rose cries) Gypsy It's OK, momma! OK, Rose! Rose See... You look like you should speak French! Gypsy You're coming to that party with me... Rose No! Gypsy Come on! Rose Not like this. Gypsy Wear my fur I have a stole in my cabinet. Rose Well, maybe just for an hour or two... Hey, it looks better on me than it does on you. Funny how we can both wear the same size! Gypsy Specially in mink. Rose You know...I had a dream last night. There was a big poster of a other and daughter, like the covers of the ladies magazines... Gypsy Yes, momma! Rose Only it was you and me wearing exactly the same gowns. It was an add for Minsky, and the headline said: "MADAM ROSE...AND HER DAUGHTER GYPSY". (They laugh, embrace each other and leave. Rose stops for a while and takes one last look at the stage as if she said good-bye.)

    


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