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HAUNTED HOUSE, THE (Max Kester / Ray Noble) Ray Noble & His New Mayfair Dance Orch. (vocal: The Three Ginx) - 1931 (Knocking on door) Ist MAN: I say, I say, Sebatian, are you in bed? Come out here. 2nd MAN: I can't. I'm in my nightwear. 1st MAN: Oh, very well then. I only want to tell you that your bedroom's supposed to be haunted, but I don't suppose that'll worry you. Breakfast at nine if you're alive to eat anything. Goodnight! 2nd MAN: Oh, I say, look here, I can't stay in here. I mean my Mother told me to keep away from spirits. I say, hello, very good fellow, hello. Oh! (Who's that?) (Who's that?) (Look behind you) (Look behind you) 2nd MAN: Oh no, no, no, no, oh no, oh no, oh no! (Scream) When doors all squeak and the windows creak And the ceilings leak and the roof's antique If you hear a shriek and your legs feel weak It's the Haunted House There's a dismal moan like a weird trombone And the old hambne is suddenly thrown You are all alone with the great unknown In the Haunted House There's only one good spirit It's the spirit in the bottle With shaking hands you pull the cork And pour some down your throttle There's a clank of chains and the smell of drains And a gory stain where the Duke was slain And you've got chilblains and varicose veins In the Haunted House When the old oak beam from the court room seem To pirouette stream with a sinister gleam And you wake with a scream from a horrible dream Of the Haunted House When a cavalier with a dreadful leer Tries to disappear from the cheffonier Everything we feared, to the chandelier It's the Haunted House The air is full of clammy claws that catch you by the collar So gargle night and morning just in case you have to holler The lights and sprites are awful sights In flesh pink tights, by the dead of night Comes a woman in white, so you're quite alright In the Haunted House When the old church clock strikes twelve there's a knock With a sudden shock you remember the lock On the door there's a knock, oh, why did you mock At the Haunted House It's as black as pitch and your eyeballs twitch And the darkest snitch is a dirty witch And the lighting switch is out of reach In the Haunted House When the slavey spilled the gravy, why is she so pally Something pulled her in the pantry when she fetched the salad I'm filled with dread, yes I'm nearly dead I saw a head underneath my bed Come out if you can, I could do with a man In the Haunted House (Scream) Thank you! (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2014)

    


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