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HOUSEWIVES CHOICE (In Party Mood) (Music – Jack Strachy / Lyrics – Russell Davies) Recorded by Julie Covington Darn the socks and wash the clocks and polish up the letter box And ask the doctor come and look at Tommy, It's honestly enough to drive you barmy 'Specially when you husbands in the army - barmy Feed the cat and beat the mat and write a note to Auntie Pat To thank her very kindly for the mincer She sent it all the ruddy way from Windsor Shame we've 'ad a mincer since before the war So who would be a housewife, it's lower than a mouse life It's enough to make you run away to sea The world is not my oyster I'm living in a cloister I'm unable to be me Free to put me feet up, and turn the blessed heat up Well I tell you ladies, that will be the day The weather's always freezing, I've done my flaming knees in Putting polish on the parlour parquet Queue for ages in the street, to try to buy a piece of meat To give the kids a little treat for dinner When all I'll probably get from Mr Skinner Is something like a nasty tin of pilchards liver What's the latest fashion look, and where 've I put me ration book Perhaps I should be rash and cook me pancake The tea's about the only thing I can make I'm sure I've drunk enough of the stuff to drop down dead. What a relief to turn the wireless on- On at just after nine, There's a favourite of mine It's a beautiful, musical revelry You can hear the latest thing recorded by Crosby Or that fairy sugar dancing thing by Tchaikovsky There's a song about flees And another called "Trees" And there's Victor Sylvester and Webster Booth So now if you've a favourite voice >From Bing to the Piano Boys Just send a request into Housewives’ Choice Now at forty years have passed and still we're in the kitchen singing Put the washing on to spin and get some avacados in And marinade the meat to make it tender And don't forget today you've got to send a rather stroppy letter to the blender mender Pick the boys up after school and drop them at the swimming pool And feed them up to turn them into he-men Do everything but actually be men That's the life you lead if you're a house wife. Help the baby count his toes, untangle all your pantyhose Send your auntie Maud a rose and wash your hands and blow your nose Chop some wood and make a fire, mend a fuse and patch a tyre Join the local ladies choir, find yourself the time to buy a hat, And that's that. (Contributed by Bill Huntley - November 2008)

    


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