HOW TO BECOME A COUNTRY STAR
(Don Reid / Harold Reid)


The Statler Brothers - 1978



        

There's questions we're always hearing everywhere we go
Like how do I cut a record or get on a country show
Well it takes more than just ambition and three chords on an old guitar
There's a few more things you oughta learn to be a country star

You gotta learn to sing like Waylon or pick like Jerry Reed
Yodel like Jeannie Shepard, write songs like Tom T
Put a cry in your voice like Haggard, learn Spanish like Johnny R
Whisper like Bill Anderson and you'll be a country star

Play piano like Ronnie Milsap or Gilley or Jerry Lee
Yo-Yo like Roy Acuff or talk plain like Ralph Emery
Growl like Conway Twitty, get a red white and blue guitar
Build a swimming pool like Webb did and you'll be a country star

Be tall like Sonny James is, tell jokes like Minnie Perl
Or be short like Jimmy Dickens or play five string like Earl

Get a headband like Willie's, learn to stutter like M-Mel
Get a cap like Roy Clark wore or a voice like Barbara Mandrell
Be rich like Eddy Arnold, say you're making more than you are
Get a gimmick like Charley Pride got and you'll be a country star

But if you have no talent and if you're not a male
If you're built somewhat like Dolly or have a face like Crystal Gayle
Come backstage and ask for Harold, Phil, Don or Lew
And we'll see you get auditioned for the Statler Brothers Revue





(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - July 2013)