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THE HUMOURS OF WHISKEY (Traditional c: 1825 verses attributed to Joseph Lunn) Tom Lenihan ("recorded as Paddy's Panacea"), Andy M. Stewart & Manus Lunny Let your quacks and newspapers be cuttin' their capers And curing the vapors the scratch and the gout With their medical potions, their pills and their lotions Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out. Who can tell the true physic of all things prophetic And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen You'll know it I think if you take a big drink With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys Oh what moderation gives hope to a nation Or brings consolation like poteen me boys. No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers E'er gave their own bowers such a darling perfume And this liquid so rare if you willingly share To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys As a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling 'Til me mother and father were called to the fore All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying But soon found I only was crying for more. So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle They only could suckle on poteen me boys Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression My childhood's impression still clung to my mind And at school or at college the basis of knowledge I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin' On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine And how ere they may lecture on jove and his nectar Itself is the only true liquid divine So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys. Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk, The elixir of life and philospher's stone And what helped Mr. Brunel to build the Thames Tunnel (Contributed by =Ae= - December 2012)

    


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