IF YOUR KISSES CAN'T HOLD THE MAN YOU LOVE
(Vivian Ellis / Jack Yellen)

as recorded by Sophie Tucker
with The Winter Gardens Orchestra
1930


Every time that I
Hear a woman cry
'Cause her man has left her flat,
I just feel like saying,
"Don't be such a fool you fool!".
Better dry your eyes,
Can't you realise
That you gain nothing by that?
Why that's no way to keep his heart warm
When his love grows cool!

What's the use of sighing,
What's the use of crying
If he's giving you the sack?
If your kisses can't hold the man you love,
Then your tears won't bring him back!

You might as well be cheerful,
No use being tearful
If he wanders off the track!
'Cause if your kisses can't hold the man you love,
Then your tears won't bring him back!

Now listen,
If sweet sugar kissin'
Isn't going to make him hot,
Now tell me, how do ya
Hope to bring him to ya
With tears of song?

So be a regular fella,
Come on, say "What the hella!",
Get his clothes and help him pack,
'Cause if your kisses can't hold the man you love,
Then your tears won't bring him back!

(spoken)
And what are you crying about?
You might as well be crying for a broken china cup!
But when your red hot cup of steam pipe gets cold,
Tears won't heat it up!
And there's nothing like a weeping wyatt
To drive a man away from home.
Laugh and the world laughs with you,
Weep and you sleep alone!
Love is like home cooking, good and wholesome,
But all men like a little piece of mutton on the outside now and then!
And if you find your husband is cheating,
Go out and do the same, old dear!
Why, he's only giving you the chance
That you've been waiting for for years!
My goodness, tears won't get you anything,
Just a shiny red nose! 
Now come on, paint up, powder up, put on your swellest clothes,
Go out and make whoopee!
Men, you'll get them by the score!
Neglected wives should worry,
That's what God made sailors for!

Don't cry for him or chase him,
Just go out and replace him
With some good looking Tom, Dick or Jack!
'Cause if your kisses can't hold the man you love,
Then your tears won't bring him back!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - January 2016)