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I'M TWENTY ONE TODAY (Alec Kendal 1911) Excuse me shouting out like this, And making all this noise! I've finished up with college life; Now, I'm one of the boys. I mean to paint the town tonight, And give each girl a wink; Britons never shall be slaves; So, let your glasses chink! I'm twenty one today! Twenty one today! I've got the key of the door, Never been twenty one before. And pa says I can do as I like; So shout, "Hip hip hooray! He's a jolly good fellow, Twenty one today!". I called into a waxwork show, where The figures, they all stood; I saw Queen Mary, and the Shah, And sweet Red Riding Hood. I also saw the big fat girl there, And she cried in alarm, "I'd love to kiss your baby face!" I said, "Well, there's no harm!". I'm twenty one today! Twenty one today! I've got the key of the door, Never been twenty one before. And pa says I can do as I like; So shout, "Hip hip hooray! He's a jolly good fellow, Twenty one today!". I got my temper up today; I smacked a p'liceman's face; Then he took me to Bow Street, where The judge said, "What's the case? What has this great big bully done?", His face grew quite a length. I said, "I smacked a p'liceman's face, I've overgrown my strength!". I'm twenty one today! Twenty one today! I've got the key of the door, Never been twenty one before. And pa says I can do as I like; So shout, "Hip hip hooray! He's a jolly good fellow, Twenty one today!". I've had a gay time up to now, I've been into the Cri; I play'd a game of billiards, To the marker, then, said I, "How is the game? Please tell me sir!", He said, "You're twenty three!". I said, "I don't wish to be rude, But, if you'll pardon me", I'm twenty one today! Twenty one today! I've got the key of the door, Never been twenty one before. And pa says I can do as I like; So shout, "Hip hip hooray! He's a jolly good fellow, Twenty one today!". A girl stopped me in Leicester Square, And cried, "I'm full of glee! I'd love to marry you, young man, But one thing's stopping me!". She said, "Why don't you grow a beard?". I said, "May I be hung, I wouldn't mind a fair moustache, But for whiskers, I'm too young!". I'm twenty one today! Twenty one today! I've got the key of the door, Never been twenty one before. And pa says I can do as I like; So shout, "Hip hip hooray! He's a jolly good fellow, Twenty one today!". (Contributed by Peter Akers - February 2016)

    


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