LOOKOUT, STRANGER, I'M A TEXAS RANGER
(Ruby Raksin / Phil Harris)
Phil Harris & His Orch. - 1948
Phil Harris & Gary Cooper (feat. in the film "Starlift") - 1951
(Lookout, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger)
(I'm the roughest, toughest cowboy that you've ever seen)
I was standin' in a barroom in a little Texas town
Drinkin' double sarsaparillas just to wash my dinner down
Folks were dancin' to the jukebox where a very fine quartet
And a guy named Harris sang a song called "Smoke That Cigarette"
While the record was still playin', somethin' shook the whole saloon
All the women started screamin' till I couldn't hear the tune
Then I looked up to the doorway and I saw him standin' there
It was Fearless Fred the foreman, dog dirty and loaded for bear
(It was a year to the day since he had last been to town)
Yeah, and he showed it by the way he eyed the women up and down
(Then he started in to cussin' all the folks up at the bar)
Till a Ranger who was there cautioned Freddie to beware before he had gone too far
(He said) "Look out, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger
Better take it nice and easy or, ah, you'll have to go"
Well now Freddie the foreman wasn't bright or he'd-a stopped right then
But he just ignored the Ranger and then he started in again
He went down and grabbed Miss Lulu, the local dancehall queen
While the fellah who was with her was so scared he near turned green
(Then the Ranger who was watchin' said that he had seen enough)
(He had been polite to Freddie, now it's time that he got tough)
That's right, 'cause when a woman isn't willin' you can't grab her by the hair
You just don't do that and live when there's a Ranger standin' there
(He said, "Look out, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger)
Take your hands off that there woman or you'll make me mad"
Then the Ranger turned to Lulu to make sure she was alright
Freddie saw his chance and hit the Ranger, "Wham!" with all his might
(But the Ranger looked around and said) "I think I felt a breeze"
(Meanwhile Freddie with a broken hand was feelin' ill at ease)
"I warned you to look out, Stranger, 'cause I'm a Texas Ranger"
Then the Ranger swung at Freddie and all the lights went out
Now when the lights went on again, some thievin' dog had stole my drink
And I swore out loud I'd like to get my hands upon that gink
When I looked around the only other person that I saw
Was the Ranger sippin' sarsaparilla calmly through a straw
(Fearless Freddie rose up from the floor and drew his forty-five)
(When the smoke had cleared we found the Ranger smilin' and alive)
Yes, it's a well known fact in Texas that a Ranger's skin is hard
Even bullets never hurt, it's like a built-in bodyguard
So remember, stranger, if you meet a Texas Ranger
(They're the roughest, toughest gentlemen you ever saw)
And gals, they're handsome critters, too!
********************
As performed in the 1951 film "Starlift" by Phil Harris and Gary Cooper:
HARRIS:
I was standin' in a barroom in a little Texas town
Drinkin' double sarsaparillas just to wash my dinner down
Folks were dancin' to the jukebox where a very fine quartet
And a guy named Harris sang a song called "Smoke That Cigarette"
While the music was still playin', somethin' shook the whole saloon
All the women started screamin' till I couldn't hear the tune
Then I looked up to the doorway and I saw him standin' there
It was Fearless Fred the foreman, dog dirty, loaded for bear
It was a year to the day since he had last been to town
And he showed it by the way he eyed the women up and down
Then he started in to cussin' all the folks up at the bar
Till a Ranger who was there cautioned Freddie to beware before he had gone too far
He said
COOPER:
Look out, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger
Better take it nice and easy or you'll have to go
HARRIS:
Well now Fred the foreman wasn't bright or he'd-a stopped right then
But he just ignored the Ranger and he started in again
He went down and grabbed Miss Lulu, the local dancehall queen
While the fellah who was with her was so scared he near turned green
Then the Ranger who was watchin' said that he had had enough
'Cause he'd been polite to Freddie, now it was time that he got tough
When a woman isn't willin' you can't grab her by the hair
You just don't do that and live when there's a Ranger standin' there
He said
COOPER:
Look out, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger
Take your hands off that there woman or you'll make me mad
Then the Ranger turned to Lulu to make sure she was alright
Freddie saw his chance and hit the Ranger, "Wham!" with all his might
But the Ranger looked around and said
COOPER:I think I felt a breeze
Meanwhile Freddie held his broken hand and felt quite ill at ease
COOPER: Here, look out, Stranger, I'm a Texas Ranger
HARRIS: Then the Ranger swung at Freddie and all the lights went out
HARRIS:
When the lights went on again, some thievin' dog had stole my drink
And I swore out loud I'd like to get my hands upon that gink
When I looked around the only other person that I saw
Was the Ranger sippin' sarsaparilla calmly through a straw
Fearless Freddie rose up from the floor and drew his forty-five
When the smoke had cleared we found the Ranger smilin' and alive
It's a well known fact in Texas that a Ranger's skin is hard
COOPER:
Even bullets never hurt, it's like a built-in bodyguard
HARRIS:
So remember, stranger, if you meet a Texas Ranger
They're the roughest (Yeah!), toughest (Yeah!) gentlemen you ever saw
And gals, they're handsome critters, too!
COOPER: Yep!
-
(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2014)
