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LUMBERED From the London show "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off" (1961) (Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley) Anthony Newley - 1961 Also recorded by: Lonnie Donegan; Victor Feldman. I've been trapped, lumbered! I have been lumbered! I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered, But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again. I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered, And I don't L-I-K-E it one small bit. I'm too young to be a father; There are lots of things I'd rather be, Like working down a coal P-I-T pit! When I ought to be completely unencumbered, I've been forced to buy a ring and say Amen. I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered, But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again. I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered; I'm completely C-H-O-K-E-D choked! Bang, all my lovely visions, I've been forced to make decisions. Wish I had a quid for ev'ry fag I've smoked. When I think of all the birds with whom I've slumbered; Now I'll only ever see them now and then. At the weekends and whenever the wife's not around! I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered, But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again. If I ever get my hands upon the idiot that wrote, "Into ev'ry life a little rain must fall," I shall take his book of poems And I'll stuff 'em up his ...throat, 'Cause it seems to me as though I get it all! I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered; And the idea doesn't please me very much. I was not prepared for marriage, I would catch a boat from Harwich, But I don't speak any D-U-C-H Dutch. Though I know it's true a bachelor's days are numbered, I think I should have the choice of saying when, I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered, But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again. I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered. It's enough to drive a fellow M-A-D! I am scarcely past my childhood, I still play the games a child would, I'm still playing mums and dads, as you can see. When I think of all the chicks with whom I've rumba'd, For the wedding march, I'm lumbered with a hen! (Quack, quack!) I've been quite unduly, well and truly lumbered, But, I'm never gonna get, Never gonna get, never, never, Never gonna get, never gonna get, never never, Never gonna get lumbered again! ***** LUMBERED From the London show "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off" (1961) (Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley) Lonnie Donegan Also recorded by: Victor Feldman; Anthony Newley. There are lots of words that mean You've been landed in the…..…cart, But I've found a new one better than the rest It's a little word called lumbered And I speaks it from the `eart When it comes to getting' lumbered, I'm the best I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered It's enough to drive a fella round the bend Once I found a four leafed clover And a lorry ran me over So you see I still got lumbered in me end Like the time I crossed a gypsy's palm with silver And she said "There's a stranger in your life" I got l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered `Cos the stranger caught me with his wife I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered Once I won two hundred thousand on the pools So I handed in me ticket, Told the foreman where to stick it And I told him that includes me bag of tools Then I bought meself an `aase in Monte Carlo (Ahem, house) I was puttin' on me suit to catch the boat When I found that I'd been well and truly lumbered `Cos the coupon was still in me coat. If I ever get me hands upon the idiot who wrote "Into every life a little rain must fall" I shall take his book of poems and I'll stuff `em up his throat `Cos it seems to me as though I get it all. I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered, yeah! And my luck with women's just too rough for words On a foursome or a twosome Guess who gets the one that's gruesome Me address book's full of really ugly birds But one day I met a lovely little darlin' `Bout the only bit of luck I've ever had I took `er `ome to meet the family and got lumbered `Cos me darlin' ran off with me dad. I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered And the latest lumber makes me want to spit I wrote Newley a long letter Saying why aren't pop songs better He put music to it and it was a hit Ev'rywhere I go I hear his flamin' number On the Chinese his parade it's number ten (Yen, Ten) It's called "l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d, lumbered" But I'm never gonna get, never gonna get, Never, never never gonna get, never gonna get, Never, never, never gonna get lumbered again. (Transcribed by Bill Huntley - May 2005) *****

    


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