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MUFFIN MAN Album: Bongy Fury (1975) (Frank Zappa / Captain Beefheart) Frank Zappa & Captain Beefheart The Muffin Man is seated at the table In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen . . . Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants And, brushing his scapular aside, Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt . . . He turns to us and speaks: "Some people like cupcakes better. I, for one, Care LESS for them!" Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing-anointment utensil, He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosetta Near . . . (Let's try that again . . . ) He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosetta Near the summit of a dense-but-radiant muffin of his own design Later he says: "Some people . . . some people like cupcakes exclusively, While I myself say there is naught, nor ought there be, Nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey earth As that Prince of Foods . . . The Muffin!" Girl, you thought he was a man But he was a muffin He hung around till you found That he didn't know nuthin' Girl, you thought he was a man But he only was a-puffin' No cries is heard in the night As a result of him stuffin' Girl, you thought he was a man But he was a muffin No cries is heard in the night As a result of him stuffin' (Contributed by Sören Sjögren - June 2004)

    


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