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MY BOOMERANG WON'T COME BACK Charlie Drake - 1961 (Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka) In the bad backlands of Australia Many years ago, The aborigine tribes were meeting, Having a big pow-wow. (Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka) "We got a lot of trouble, Chief, On account of your son Mack." "My boy Mack? Why, what's wrong with him?" DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back. "Your boomerang won't come back?" DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back, My boomerang won't come back, I've waved the thing all over the place, Practised till I was black in the face, I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race, My boomerang won't come back. DRAKE: I can ride a kangaroo (yeah yeah) Make kinkajou stew (yeah yeah) But I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race, My boomerang won't come back. They banished him from the tribe then And sent him on his way, He had a backless boomerang So here he could not stay. (Animal noises) DRAKE: [Spoken] This is nice, innit? Getting banished at my time of life. What a way to spend an evening: sitting on a rock in the middle of the desert with me boomerang in me hand. I shall very likely get bushwhacked. (An animal roars; Drake shrieks back.) DRAKE: Get out of it! You nasty bushwhacking animal. Think I'll make a nice cup of tea. (Doing, doing, doing...) Good gracious! There goes a kangaroo. I must have a practice with me boomerang: hit him right behind the left earhole. Now then, slowly back. Gruff voice: If you throw that thing at me, I'll jump right on your head. (It chuckles and bounces away.) DRAKE: Innit marvellous? Got a land full of kangaroos and I had to pick that one. For three long months he sat there Or maybe it was four, Then an old old man in a kangaroo skin Came a-knocking at his door. "Well, I'm the local witch doctor, son, They call me George Alfred Black. Now tell me, what's your trouble, boy?" DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back. "Your boomerang won't come back?" DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back, My boomerang won't come back, I've waved the thing all over the place, Practised till I was black in the face, I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race, My boomerang won't come back. "Don't worry, boy, I know the trick, And to you I'm gonna show it. If you want your boomerang to come back, Well first you've got to... throw it." DRAKE: Ooh, yes! Never thought of that. Daddy will be pleased. Must have a go, nyuh-huh! Excuse me. Now then, slowly back... and throw. (Boomerang whizzes away; Sounds of a plane approaching and then falling from the sky.) DRAKE: Ooh my God! I've hit the flying doctor. Eee-hee-hee! Can you do first aid? Witch Doctor: Don't talk to me about first aid, boy, you owe me fourteen chickens, you know, when I learned you to throw the boomerang, you know, first things first. DRAKE: Yes, I know that, but I mean, I think on this occasion, you know, you could be a bit more perspective...........

    


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