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MY WIFE IS ON A DIET (Charles Tobias / George J. Bennett) Leslie Sarony Whatís the greatest problem now throughout the land Whatís the only problem needs a helping hand It isnít Philip Snowden, or tax relief I find Itís something more important now on everybodyís mind Just walk into any home today Itís ten to one youíll hear each husband say My wife is on a diet, and since sheís on a diet Home isnít home any more No gravy and potatoes, just lettuce and tomatoes Where are the pies I adore Oh, oh, oh, oh, what a disgrace Iím ashamed to look a grapefruit straight in the face My wife is on a diet, and since sheís on a diet Iím losing a pound every day Monday, grapefruit, breakfast and for dinner And at night some orange juice Tuesday, grapefruit, boys I growing thinner All my clothes are getting loose Wednesday, Thursday, I feel satisfied Then I change to coffee, with grapefruit on the side Friday till Sunday is more than I can stand Before the eighteenth day Iíll have a lily in my hand My wife is on a diet, and since sheís on a diet Home isnít home any more No gravy and potatoes, just lettuce and tomatoes Where are the pies I adore Crabs and shrimps I must leave alone Iím the only lobster sheíll allow in my home My wife is on a diet, and since sheís on a diet Sheís gaining a pound every day (Musical Break) Oh, oh, oh, sheís driving me wild One look at her onions and I cry like a child. (Music to end) (Contributed by Bill Huntley - November 2006)

    


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