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ON AGAIN! ON AGAIN! (Jake Thackray) Jake Thackray - 1970 I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day To me it is palpable proof of God's existence, a posteriori Also I love breasts and arms and ankles, elbows, knees It's the tongue, the tongue, the tongue on a woman that spoils the job for me Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex And I honour them every bit as much as the next misogynist But give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon They go on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on ... I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips And a sensational belly, I just never noticed her lips were always moving Only when we got to the altar and she had to say I Do And she folded her arms and gathered herself and took in a breath and I knew ... She could have gone on again, on again, on again till the entire Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choirboys passed through puberty At the reception I gloomily noted her family's jubilant mood Their maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude She talks to me when I go for a shave, or a sleep, or a swim She talks to me on a Sunday, when I go singing hymns, and drinking heavily When I go mending my chimney pot she's down there in the street And at ninety-five on my motorbike she's on the pillion seat Wittering on again, on again, on and again and again When I'm eating or drinking, or reading or thinking, or when I'm saying my rosary She will never stop talking to me, she is one of those women who Will never use three or four words when a couple of thousand will easily do She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights she never gives over Not even stopping while we go hammer and tongs towards the peak Except maybe for a sigh and a groan and one perfunctory shriek Then she goes on again, on again, on again on and I must Assume that she has never noticed that she's just been interrupted Totally unruffled she is, and as far as I can see I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring up the tea She will not take a hint, not once she's made a start I can yawn, or belch, or bleed, or faint, or fart - she'll not drop a syllable I could stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe I could sprinkle her with paraffin, and ask her for a match She'd just go on again, on again, on again even more The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her, she can bore the balls off a buffalo Mother of God, I cried one day, Oh, let your kingdom come And in the meantime, Mother, could you strike this bugger dumb? Well, believe it or not, she appeared to me then and there The Blessed Virgin herself, in answer to my prayer - despite the vulgarity Shimmering softly, dressed in blue and holding up a hand I cocked a pious ear, as the Mother of God began But she went on again, on again, on again on and I Will have to state how very much I sympathise with the rest of the family Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon They go on again, on again, on again, on again, and again, and again, and again, and again They will go on again, on again, on again, on again, On again, on again, on ...

    


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