PADDY MCGINTY'S GOAT
Val Doonican - 1967
Mister Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note,
Came into a fortune, so bought himself a goat.
Said he, "Sure, of goat's milk I mean to have my fill!"
But when he got his Nanny home, he found it was a Bill.
And now all the ladies who live in Killaloo
Are all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do.
They each wear a bolster beneath the petticoat,
And leave the rest to Providence and Paddy McGinty's goat!
Missis Burke to her daughter said, "Listen, Mary Jane, .
Now who was the man you were cuddling in the lane?
He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin."
"Twas only Pat McGinty's goat, " she answer'd with a grin.
Then she went away from the village in disgrace,
She came back with powder and paint upon her face.
She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat,
You bet your life they never came from Paddy McGinty's goat.
Little Norah McCarthy the knot was going to tie,
She washed all her trousseau and hung it out to dry.
Then up came the goat and he saw the bits of white:
He chewed up all her falderals, and on her wedding night:
"Oh turn out the gas quick!" she shouted out to Pat,
For though l'm your bride, sure l'm not worth looking at.
I'd got two of ev'rything, I told you when I wrote,
But now I've one of nothing, all thro' Paddy McGinty's goat.'
Mickey Riley he went to the races t'other day.
He won twenty dollars and shouted, "Hip Hooray!!"
He held up the note, shouting "Look what I've got!"
The goat came up and grabbed at it and swallowed all the lot.
"He's eaten my banknote," said Mickey, with the hump.
They ran for the doctor, he brought a stomach pump.
He pumped and he pumped for that twenty dollar note,
But all he got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat.
Now old Paddy's Goat had a wonderous appetite,
and one day for breakfast he ate some dynamite.
A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene
and then he went and gobbled up a quart of paraffin.
He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang,
swallowed a spark and exploded and exploded with a bang.
SO if you go to heaven you can bet a dollar note....
that the Angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's Goat.
(Corrections by Kevin Jones - August 2003)