PMS BLUES
(Dolly Parton)

Dolly Parton



Eve you wicked woman, you done put your curse on me 
Why didn't you just leave that apple hangin' in the tree 
You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss 
Why I can't even count the good friends I've already lost 
Cause of... PMS blues, PMS blues!! 
I don't even like myself, but it's something I can't help 
I got those God almighty, slap somebody PMS blues 
Most times I'm easy going, some say I'm good as gold 
But when I'm PMS I tell ya, I turn mean and cold you
Those not afflicted with it are affected just the same 
Poor old men didn't have to grin and say "I feel your pain" 
PMS blues... PMS blues... 
You know you must forgive us for we care not what we do 
I got those can't stop crying, dishes flying PMS blues 

But you know we can't help it We don't even know the cause 
But as soon as this part's over, then comes the menopause 
Oh, Lord... Oh, Lord... 
We're going to always be a heap of fun Like the devil
Taking over my body, suffering, suffering, suffering 
Everybody's suffering, huh? 

But a woman had to write this song, a man would be scared to 
Lest he be called a chauvenist or just fall victim to 
Those.... PMS blues!!!
You know we'd kill for less than that PMS blues!!!!
You don't want to cross my path Cause a pitbull
Ain't no match For these teeth a clenchin',Fluid
Retention Head a swellin', can't stop yellin' Got no
Patience, I'm so hateful PMS blues, premenstrual syndrome 
Got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin' 
Nothin' fits me when it hits me 
Rantin', ravin', misbehavin' PMS blues!!!! 

It's the only time in my life I ever think about wishing  
I'd been a man But you know that only means one thing 
If I'd have been a man, I'd be somewhere right this very minute 
With some old cranky, naggin', raggin' hateful woman 
With those old... PMS blues... PMS blues 

I don't want to talk about it, we both could do without it 
Got those treat your kids bad, don't you talk back 
Gone ballistic, unrealistic Awful lowdown, 
bitch to be around... PMS blues!!! 


(Contributed by Diane Safir - April 2006)