QUITE ALRIGHT!
(Henry E Pether / Sherriff)

asv recorded by George Robey
with Debroy Somers & his Orchestra
May 1927

I jumped inside a bus today, was much annoyed to find
That when the man came for the fares I'd left my purse behind!
The passengers all rudely stared and oh, I did turn red;
The conductor rang the bell and then he turned to me and said,

"It's alright, quite alright!",
And the way he spoke to me was most polite.
He didn't rave or cuss,
There was not the slightest fuss,
He said, "Just get off the bus, it's alright!".

A ruffian once insulted me, "You vagabond!" said I,
"You've brought this on yourself, you have, I'll fight you till I die!".
We scrapped and scrapped and then he scrapped, it really was a scrap,
And when my pal gave me a sponge, I said, "My dear old chap!".

"It's alright, quite alright,
But there doesn't seem to be a lot of light!
That ruffian's won, no doubt,
And I've lost two teeth in the bout,
But I was going thereabout, so it's alright!".

A friend of mine invited me to go out for a row.
He said, "I'll pay!", I said, "Hooray!"; We hired a boat and so
While changing seats, so sad to tell, my friend fell in the sea!
He couldn't swin, I knew he 'ould drown, although he said to me,

"It's alright, quite alright!".
He went down twice then came up like a kite,
And with the last breath in his throat,
These final words did quote,
"I shall not pay for the boat, it's alright!".

The man who runs the bathing pits at Shingleton-By-Sea
Is quite a decent sort; The other day he said to me,
" 'Ere, 'ave a look through this peep'ole, the sight is simply fine!".
I answered, "Though I'm much obliged, your offer I decline!".

"It's alright, quite alright,
And your offer is exceedingly polite!
But to pry I never care,
Of such sights I've had my share,
That's my missus dressing there, so it's alright!".

(Transcribed by Peter Akers - March 2015)