Recorded by : Benny Bell; Dr. Demento;
Fabulous 5; Jim Nesbitt; Ben Samberg; Paul Wynn.
I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
Last night when I walked into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
[This chorus is repeated after every verse.]
I think I'll break off with my girlfriend.
Her antics are queer I'll admit.
Each time I say, "Darling, I love you,"
She tells me that I'm full of ...
Our baby fell out of the window.
You'd think that her head would be split.
But good luck was with her that morning;
She fell in a barrel of ...
An old lady died in a bathtub;
She died from a terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her wishes,
She was buried in six feet of ...
When I was in France with the army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with ...
And now, folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of ...
(Contributed by staxwax - January 2005)