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SHE KNOWS HER ONIONS (Jack Yellen / Milton Ager / Lew Pollack) The Happiness Boys (Billy Jones & Ernest Hare) - 1926 California Ramblers (vocal: Ed Kirkeby) - 1926 Jay C. Flippen & His Gang - 1926 Broadway Bell-Hops - 1926 Van & Schenck - 1926 As recorded by THE HAPPINESS BOYS, August 1926: EH: Say, Bill, do you remember Sally Brown, that we went to school with? BJ: Yes, Ernie, I do EH: Well, wasn't she a dumb Dora in school. Especially in arithmatic. BJ: Well, she might'a been dumb at school, Ernie, but you should see her subtract now EH: Subtract, what d'you mean subtract? BJ: Well, she takes ten from one and twenty from another one Just a girl what knows her onions, Ernie EH: Hah-hah-hah-hah EH: Say, Bill, you know on Broadway the other day, I met someone you know BJ: Peggy Joyce, is she in town? EH: Don't be a fool, it was Sally Brown BJ: Oh, you mean the village queen EH: Yes, she's in a Zeigfeld show BJ: That so? EH: And she's made quite a name BJ: Well, she's just a chorus dame EH: Yes, and she rides in a limousine BJ: Ah, she knows her onions EH: Well, tell me, please, just what you mean BJ: Ah, she knows her onions EH: She's just a farmer's daughter Brought up in I-O-Way BJ: Her father never taught her The things she knows today EH: You say she knows her onions I don't quite get your talk BJ: I bet she has no bunions (EH: Why?) She don't get out and walk BOTH: Aaahhhh! EH: She's got mink and sable fur BJ: And all she gets is forty per BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions EH: Well, by gum, that girl was dumb Back in the village school BJ: She has changed somehow That girl's well educated now EH: But the teacher said her brain was dead BJ: That teacher was a fool She's smart, I'm telling you EH: Well, I'll give her credit, too EH: 'Cause she's got diamonds in her ears BJ: She knows her groceries EH: And you oughta see her lavalieres BJ: Hah-hah, she knows her vegetables EH: This simple country maiden From fields of new mown hay BJ: And you should see her paradin' Along the Gay White Way EH: She stays out after eleven Right in the city's swirl BJ: 'Cause she believes that Heaven Protects the woi-king goi-l BOTH: Aaahhhh! EH: She's got lots of stocks and bonds BJ: Gentlemen prefer the blondes BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions BOTH: She's got money in the bank She knows her onions No one but herself to thank She knows her onions She hates ????? ?????? She don't like college boys She likes the Sugar Poppas Who buy expensive toys She hardly ever dances With a collegiate sheik She don't take any chances She likes 'em old and weak, aaaahhhhhhh! EH: Never goes on auto dates BJ: Without takin' roller skates BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions, aaaahhhhhh! ********************* As recorded by JAY C. FLIPPEN and His Gang (Red Nichols, Miff Mole, Jimmy Dorsey, Vic Berton, Dick McDonough and Bill Haid), New York, September, 1926: Just been down to New York Town Said Hezekiah Green And I bet you can't guess who I ran into on the Avenue You know, pal, that ????? gal Who was the village queen Well, boys, I'm here to tell The gal's done doggone well Yes, she's got this and she's got that She knows her onions A Packard car and a ten room flat She knows her onions She's just a farmer's daughter From out in I-O-Way But father never taught her The things she knows today She knows her Spanish Onions She knows her baby talk She hasn't any bunions She don't get out and walk, aahhh She has mink and sable fur She's the blonde that men prefer Oh my, yes, she knows her onions She's got diamonds in her ears She knows her onions And you should see her lavalieres She knows her onions She's just a corn fed maiden From fields of new mown hay But you should see her paradin' Along the Gay White Way She stays out after eleven Right in the city's whirl 'Cause she believes that Heaven Protects the working girl, aahhh She knows when and where to go When to "yes" and when to "no" Just a gal that knows her onions (Instrumental Break) And she's got great big diamond rings (She knows her onions) And she's got lots of other things (She knows her onions) She's swell, there's no denyin' And she lives at the Ritz She knows a rich Hawaiian His name is Muscovitch She never pets or dances With some young handsome sheik She don't take any chances She likes them old and weak, aahhh Young sheiks have the sex appeal Old ones pay the checks for meals She's a gal that knows her onions (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2017)

    


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