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SIDEBOARD SONG, THE (Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock) Chas & Dave - 1979 Mother phoned up last night, she was goin' spare She was in a temper pulling out her hair "You're sister's courtin' a scruffy looking gent Father don't give a monkeys and this is what he said" I don't care, I don't care I don't care if he comes round here I got my beer in the sideboard here Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here I said to me mother, "Let me 'ave a talk to Dad" So he comes to the telephone, he wasn't half mad Said, "She's got no sense, silly little cow And if he comes round here there's gonna be a row" I don't care, I don't care I don't care if he comes round here I got my beer in the sideboard here Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here "I'll tell ya something else an' all, he's never got a job He hangs around the betting shop, the lazy little yob Mother says, "Calm down now, Dad, he's alright," But they're out there snogging in the passage all night" I don't care, I don't care I don't care if he comes round here I got my beer in the sideboard here Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here If he comes round here, I've got my beer, let Mother sort it out In the sideboard here, got my beer, let Mother sort it out I don't care if he comes round here "You'd think he was a tramp with the stubble on his chin He looks like something that the cat brought in Never got no money, smokes all my fags Got holes in his soles and he's hanging in rags" "On top of that he said to tell ya why I got the 'ump She had a skinny little belly, now its sticking out the front Nothing seems to fit her and she's running out of clothes If he keeps on taking liberties, I'll punch him on the nose" I don't care, I don't care I don't care if he comes round here I got my beer in the sideboard here Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here If he comes round here, I've got my beer, let Mother sort it out In the sideboard here, got my beer, let Mother sort it out I don't care if he comes round here (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - January 2013)

    


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