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SO HELP ME Spike Jones & His City Slickers I was standing in a pub in London Late one foggy night When in walked Harry, me old chum And, blimey, what a sight! His hair was mussed, his clothes all torn A big lump on his head I said, here Ė what happened, Harry boy? And this is what he said I had an augamenta with my trouble and strife She knocked me down the bloominí apples and pears And not only that, I lost me tit-for-tat And me whistle and flute were far beyond repairs I landed on the bottom on me plates of meat I really was a sorry sight to see Itís a wonder Iím not dead With this lump on me loaf of bread And thatís the blinkiní truth, so help me I had an augamenta with me trouble and strife (wife) She knocked me down the bloominí apples and pears (stairs) And not only that, I lost me tit-for-tat (hat) And me whistle and flute were far beyond repairs (Whistle and flute?) Suit! I landed on the bottom on me plates of meat (feet) I really was a sorry sight to see Itís a wonder Iím not dead With this lump on me loaf of bread (head) And thatís the blinkiní truth, so help me (Speaks, tap-dancing) Dance! Here watch this step Ė clever, eh? eh? eh? ĎEre, blimey, when I did this one at the Palladium, London I had Ďem in the aisle (Palladium? Was more than likely the pier at Wigan!) ĎEre, Ďere, knock it! Turn it up mate! I shall very likely come over there and do you! Only kidding, only kidding ĎEre, watch this one, lady, watch this one! Tricky, ainít it? Eh? eh? Blimey, Iím really on form tonight (sings) Oh, the missus really blackened up me poor mince pie I really was a sorry sight to see So I thought Iíd stop er Ďere For me usual pigís ear And thatís the blinkiní truth, so help me

    


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