Song Lyrics From Around The World

Home | Email Us | 0-9 | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z | Christmas | Soundtracks | Web Hosting with TotalChoice

big text small text home back forward print

THAT IS THE END OF THE NEWS (Noel Coward) Joyce Grenfell (Monologue) We are told very loudly and often To lift up our hearts, We are told that good humour will soften Fate's cruelest darts So however bad our domestic troubles may be We just shake with amusement and sing with glee. Heigho, Mum's had those pains again, Granny's in bed with her varicose veins again, Everyone's gay because dear cousin Florrie Was run down on Saturday night by a lorry, We're so thrilled, Elsie's in trouble, That hernia she had has turned out to be double, When Albert fell down all The steps of the Town Hall He got three bad cuts and a bruise. We're delighted To be able to say We're unable to pay Off our debts, We're excited Because Percy's got mange And we've run up a bill at the vet's. Three cheers! Ernie's got boils again, Everything's covered in ointment and oils again, Now he's had seven So God's in His heaven And that is the end of the news. We are told that it's dismal and dreary To air our despairs, We are told to be gallant and cheery And banish our cares So when fortune gives us a cup of hemlock to quaff We just give a slight hiccup and laugh laugh laugh. Heigho, everything's fearful, We do wish that Vi was a little more cheerful, The only result of her last operation Has been gales of wind at the least provocation. Now don't laugh, poor Mrs Mason Was washing some smalls in the lavatory basin When that old corroded Gas-heater exploded And blew her smack into the news. We're in clover, Uncle George is in clink For refusing to work for the war, Now it's over Auntie Maud seems to think He'll be far better placed than before. What fun -- dear little Sidney. Produced a spectacular stone in his kidney, He's had eleven So God's in His heaven And that is the end of the news. Heigho, what a catastrophe, Grandfather's brain is beginning to atrophy, Last Sunday night after eating an apple He made a rude noise in the Methodist chapel. Good egg! Dear little Doris Has just been expelled for assaulting Miss Morris. Both of her sisters Are covered in blisters From standing about in the queues. We've been done in By that mortgage foreclosure And Father went out on a blind, He got run in For indecent exposure And ever so heavily fined. Heigho hi-diddle-diddle, Aunt Isabel's shingles have met in the middle, She's buried in Devon So God's in His heaven And that is the end of the news

    


International Lyrics Playground       Private Guitar Lessons in Connecticut!       Web Hosting with TotalChoice       Click and start earning!       Privacy Policy