(Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley)
Anthony Newley - 1962
Can you hear it? That noise! Itís been driving me potty all day.
I woke up this morning in my usual lively way
Peeped out from the bedclothes at another dreary day
Feeling full of fun, I threw the alarm clock at the cat
Turned over and went back to sleep and thought that that was that
But it wasnít, it was that!
I yawned and stretched and scratched a bit, then tumbled out of bed
But still I felt this rhythm sort of pounding in my head
I thought, well, this is funny, but it canít go on all day
I think Iíll just ignore it, then itís bound to go away
Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right?
I started out to work and met a postman on his round
I said, "Good morning postman, can you hear that funny sound?"
He listened and he said, "Díyou mean that (Comical noise)"
I said, "Thatís right". he said, "Thatís funny, I canít hear a thing"
Have you ever tried to push a postman through a letterbox? Itís not easy.
I went up to a policeman, I said, "Can you hear that noise?"
He looked at me as if I was a gang oí Teddy boys
I said, "You should arrest it for disturbing peopleís peace"
He said, "All right, my lad, move on before I call the police!"
Have you ever tried to push a policeman through a letterbox?
Itís all right till you get up to his boots.
I went to see a wise man who said, "Leave it all to me!
Iíll analyse the noise for only twice my normal fee"
He came back three days later, and said, "Itís tricky to explain
In fact, I donít know what it is, but there it goes again"
Have you ever tried to push a wise man through twice his normal fee?
Itís all right until you get up to his letterbox.
No, that canít be right.
I went down to the studios to record my latest hit
A sentimental ballad that I thought was full of potential
But every time I try to sing this very lovely song
This funny noise keeps startin' up and makes me go all wrong
But Iím not gonna be beaten by it
Iím gonna record this hit ballad if it kills me
'Cause itís a very pretty tune
What kind of fool am I, who never...
Give me an A, will you, Ian? (plays piano note) Lovely...
What kind of fool am I, who never fell in (plays note twice more)
Who never fell in love
Will you please try and stop that noise
Will somebody please try and stop that noise
I can't stand the noise
Stop the World! Stop the ......... FADE
(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - May 2009)