THE BOWERY >From the Broadway play "A Trip to Chinatown" (1891) (Percy Gaunt / Charles H. Hoyt) Oh! The night that I struck New York I went out for a quiet walk Folks who are "on to" the city say Better by far that I took Broadway But I was out to enjoy the sights There was the Bow'ry ablaze with lights I had one of the devil's own nights I'll never go there any more The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more I had walked but a block or two When up came a fellow and me he knew Then a policeman came walking by Chased him away and I asked him, "Why?" "Wasn't he pulling your leg?" said he Said I, "He never laid hands on me!" "Get off the Bow'ry, you yep!" said he I'll never go there any more The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more I went into an auction store I never saw any thieves before First he sold me a pair of socks Then said he, "How much for the box"? Someone said,"two dollars," I said "Three" He emptied the box and gave it to me "I sold you the box, not the socks," said he I'll never go there any more The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more I went into a concert hall, I didn't have a good time at all Just the minute that I sat down Girls began singing "New Coon in Town" I got up mad and spoke out free "Somebody put that man out," said she A man called a bouncer attended to me I'll never go there anymore The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more I went into a barber shop He talked till I thought he would never stop I said, "Cut it short," he misunderstood Clipped down my hair just as close as he could He shaved with a razor that scratched like a pin Took off my whiskers and most of my chin; That was the worst scrape I ever got in I'll never go there any more The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more I struck a place that they called a "dive" I was in luck to get out alive When the policeman heard my woes Saw my black eyes and my battered nose "You've been held up!" said the copper fly! "No, sir! But I've been knocked down!" said I Then he laughed, tho' I couldn't see why! I'll never go there any more The Bowery! the Bowery! They say such things and they do strange things On the Bowery! The Bowery! I'll never go there any more (Contributed by Mel - December 2007)