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THE DRINKING MAN'S DIET (Allan Sherman) Allan Sherman - 1965 Oh, I'm on The Drinking Man's Diet It came from a book I was loaned It's really terrific And quite scientific And I'm half stoned For breakfast some corn flakes and vodka But corn flakes have carbohydrates So I don't eat those fattening corn flakes I eat the vodka straight Drink, drink, everyone drink It's not as bad as we used to think With every Manhattan Your stomach will flatten So drink, drink, drink The Air Force invented this diet A fact which they hotly deny Of course they'd deny it 'Cause this is the diet That got the Air Force high For lunch you can have three martinis What better lunch is there than that? But caution: do not eat the olives 'Cause olives make you fat Drink, drink, everyone drink It's not as bad as we used to think If pounds you would burn off Then turn on your Smirnoff And drink, drink, drink For dinner a nice scotch and soda Now that oughta help you to lose No whipped cream, no butter Just lay in the gutter And booze, booze, booze Suppose you should meet a policeman Who says you've been quenching your thirst? You just tell him it's physical fitness And health comes first! Drink [hic] drink [hic] booze everywhere Pass that decan'er of bourbon, there I'm fatter than ever But here's what's so clever - It's I ... DON'T ... CARE ...!!!

    


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