THE GNU SONG (Michael Flanders / Donald Swann) Flanders & Swann - 1960 A year ago, last Thursday I was strolling in the zoo when I met a man who though he knew the lot. He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons And how many spines a porcupine has got. So I asked him: "What's that creature there?" He answered, "Oh, it's a h'Elk" I might of gone on thinking that was true If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame And remarked, "I h'aint a h'Elk, I'm a Gnu" "I'm a Gnu I'm a Gnu The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo I'm a Gnu How do you do You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho's I'm a Gnu Spelt G-N-U I'm g-not a Camel or a Kangaroo So let me introduce I'm g-neither man or moose Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu" I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually And the second night I stayed there I was woken from a dream That I'll tell you all about some other time Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew; A Bison? No, it's not a Bison. An Okapi? Unlikely, Really. A Hartebeest? When I though I heard a voice... "I'm a Gnu I'm a Gnu A g-nother gnu I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you I'm a Gnu How do you do You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho's I'm a Gnu Spelt G-N-U Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue G-nor am I the least like that dreadful Hartebeest, Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, G-no g-no g-no, I'm a Gnu G-no g-no g-no, I'm a Gnu"