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THE JOGGER (Shel Silverstein) Bobby Bare Well, Iíve been a trucker now for 20 years, from the Charleston coast to the Jersey piers Aní shariní the road with the race car nuts and loggers Sunday drivers, scouts on hikes, Hells Angels on Harley bikes, I never met a roader I didnít like, 'cept them joggersÖ One day Iím rolliní down 101, I got 18 wheels and a 14-ton Radio playiní a good olí country rocker The day was surely a truckerís dream, the sky was sunny and the air was clean When up ahead on the road I seen one of them joggers He was dressed like they do in baby blue, with shortie shorts and a headband too. I yelled "Sweetie, I bet that you are the hit of the menís room locker Well Iím a runniní late with an overload, so get your Adidas off a this road Iím L.A. bound and I donít slow down for dead raccoons or joggers." "Well without breakiní stride or losin' poise," he said "You and that rig sure make some noise, But I canít talk now, Ďcause Iím raciní against the clocker But itís just nine miles to Forkers Leap and if you ainít afraid to race that heap Weíll see how that olí rig holds up against a super jogger" Race, I must be heariní wrong, the boyís been runniní in the sun too long The only place heís a raciní to is a doctor But before I could say "Hey, thank ya, no", that fool yells "Ready, get set, go" And the race is on and weíre off and gone; me and that maniac jogger I couldíve left him far behind but I played with him like a fish on a line And I stayed about a half a mile behind that sucker Then I pushed her up to forty-five and he sees me cominí and he starts to fly So I kicked her to sixty and shift to high and finally catch that jogger, and it wasnít easy Now Iím doiní eighty and I turned to check, and heís stayiní right with me neck in neck His hearts a thumpiní like an engine goiní poo poon puckerÖ.prooon!! Then he yelled out, "I hope youíre set, cuz I ainít shifted into second yet" Then he unwinds and leaves me behind, eaten the dust of a jogger Then I see him a jogginí up into the sky and he yells, "Hey, thanks for the exerciseí And I hope that losiní the race was not too shockiní Ya see, my Dad says, ĎHeaven ainít no place to runí, I try to be an obedient son, So I got to come down to earth to do my jogginí" Well thatís the story, take it or leave it, my trucker buddies, they believe it. So do them race car nuts and Harley hoggers And Iím still driviní much the same 'cept I donít call nobody names And I tip my hat each time I pass one of them good old joggers Hey, thereís one now Hey, everybody hanginí in there It wasnítÖÖÖ (Contributed by boB Cartlidge - January 2005)


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