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THE MONEY SONG From the Show "That's The Ticket" - 1948 (Harold Rome) Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis - 1948 The Modernaires - 1948 Mel Tormé & The Meltones - 1948 If you got it you don't need it If you need it you don't got it You don't get shame on you Funny, funny, funny, what money can do Them that have it get more of it Less they need it the more they love it And it sticks to them like glue Funny, funny, funny, what money can do Ask the rich man he'll confess Money can't buy happiness Ask the poor man he don't doubt But he'd rather be miserable with than without If you spend it please be wiser If you save it you're a miser You don't want it you're cuckoo Funny, funny, funny, what money can do JERRY LEWIS: La la money DEAN MARTIN: Oh, shut up Jerry, what are you doing? JL: I'm singing DM: This is singing? JL: Don't you like it? DM: No I don't like it. You want to sing with me? JL: Can I sing with you? DM: Sure you can JL: All right DM: If I do not need it badly JL: Folks will give it to you gladly DM: But I need it JL: Nuts to you DM: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do DM: If I am lucky and I make it JL: You'll be frightened DM: But who can take it JL: The Internal Revenoooooooo DM: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do DM: Birds don't got it, still they sing JL: Eating winds up on the wing DM: Ideal lives some folks affirm JL: So, okay, you're a bird, but suppose you're a worm DM: It's a bad thing, oh yes very JL: For the germs and sanitary DM: Will you have some JL: Oh, thank you BOTH: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do DM: If I got it JL: Who's got it? DM: I don't need it JL: But I need it DM: If you need it JL: And I need it DM: You don't got it JL: But I want it DM: You can't get it, shame on you JL: What can I do? BOTH: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do DM: Them that have it JL: Where'd they get it? DM: Get more of it JL: Can they keep it? DM: The less they need it JL: Who don't need it? DM: The more they love it JL: And how they love it DM: And it sticks to them like glue JL: Boo hoo BOTH: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do Money, money we love you Funny, funny, funny, what you can do ***** THE MONEY SONG (Harold Rome) The Andrews Sisters - 1948 Down in Washington DC Men are workin' busily In a place they call the mint They make coins and also print Very excellent engraving Which the rest of us keep saving Dressed if up in black and green It's the darndest stuff you've ever seen If you got it, you don't need it If you need it, you don't got it You don't get it, shame on you Funny, funny, funny what money can do Them that have it get more of it Less they need it, more they love it And it sticks to them like glue Funny, funny, funny what money can do Ask the rich man, he'll confess Money can't buy happiness Ask the poor man, he don't doubt That he'd rather be mis'rable with than without If you spend it, please be wiser If you save it, you're a miser You don't wan' it, you're cuckoo Funny, funny, funny what money can do La-la-la-lu-lu, a nickel or a dime or penny La-la-la-lu-lu, is better than not havin' any La-la-la-lu-lu, a half a dollar or a quarter La-la-la-lu-lu, makes people do a lot of things they hadn't ever oughta do If you're lucky and you make it You're so frightened who might take it Stomach troubles come to you Funny, funny, funny what money can do If you got it, you got trouble If you haven't, trouble's double If you grab it, jail for you Funny, funny, funny what money can do Birds don't got it, still they sing Eating worms upon the wing Ideal life some folks affirm So OK you're a bird but suppose you're a worm It's a bad thing, oh yes, very Full of germs, unsanitary Will we have some, oh thank you Funny, funny, funny what money can do Funny, funny, funny what money can do (Transcribed by Bill Huntley - January 2005)

    


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