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THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS (Soundtrack) Songs featured in the film "There's No Business Like Show Business" (1954) Starring Ethel Merman, Donald O'Connor, Marilyn Monroe, Dan Dailey, Mitzi Gaynor & Johnny Ray All songs written by Irving Berlin WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM Performed by Ethel Merman & Dan Dailey Reprised by Mitzi Gaynor & Donald O'Connor When the midnight choo choo leaves for Alabam' I'll be right there, I've got my fair When I see that rusty haired conductor man I'll grab him by the collar and I'll holler "Alabam'! Alabam'!" That's where you stop your train, that brings me back again Down home where I'll remain, where my honey lamb am I will be right there with bells, when that old conductor yells "All aboard! All aboard! All aboard for Alabam!" ********** LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE Performed by Ethel Merman Just around the corner There's a rainbow in the sky So let's have another cup of coffee And let's have another piece of pie Trouble's like a bubble And the clouds will soon roll by So let's have another cup of coffee And let's have another piece of pie ********** PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY Performed by Ethel Merman & Dan Dailey Won't you play some simple melody Like my mother sang to me One with a good old-fashioned harmony Play some simple melody Musical demon, set your honey a-dreaming, won't you play me some rag Just change that classical nag to some sweet beautiful drag If you will play from a copy of a tune that is choppy you'll get all my applause And that is simply because I want to listen to rag Won't you play some simple melody (Musical demon, set your honey a-dreaming, won't you play me some rag) Like my mother sang to me (Just change that classical nag to some sweet beautiful drag) One with a good old-fashioned harmony (If you will play from a copy of a tune that is choppy, you'll get all my applause) Play some simple melody (And that is simply because I want to listen to rag) ********** A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY Performed by Ethel Merman A pretty girl is like a melody That haunts you night and day Just like the strain of a haunting refrain She'll start up on a marathon And run a-round your brain You can't escape, she's in your memory Bby morning night and noon She will leave you and then Come back again A pretty girl is just like a pretty tune ********** ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME BAND Performed by Ethel Merman, Dan Dailey, Donald O'Connor, Mitzi Gaynor & Johnny Ray Come on and hear, come on and hear Alexander's Ragtime Band Come on and hear, come on and hear 'bout the best band in the land They can play a bugle call like you never heard before So natural that you want to go to war That's just the bestest band what am, oh Honey Lamb Come on along, come on along, let me take you by the hand Up to the man, up to the man who's the leader of the band And if you care to hear the Swanee River played in ragtime Come on and hear, come on and hear Alexander's Ragtime Band ********** YOU'D BE SURPRISED Performed by Marilyn Monroe Johnny was bashful and shy, nobody understood why Mary loved him, all the other girls passed him by Every one wanted to know how she could pick such a beau With a twinkle in her eye, she made this reply He's not so good in a crowd, but when you get him alone You'd be surprised He isn't much at a dance, but then when he takes you home You'd be surprised He doesn't look like much of a lover, but don't judge a book by it's cover He's got the face of an Angel, but there's a Devil in his eyes He's such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze You'd be surprised He doesn't look very strong but when you sit on his knee You'd be surprised At a party or at a ball I've got to admit he's nothing at all, but in a Morris chair You'd be surprised. Mary continued to praise Johnny's remarkable ways To the ladies, and you know advertising pays Now Johnny's never alone, he has the busiest phone Almost every other day a new girl will say He's not so good in the house, but on a bench in the park You'd be surprised He isn't much in the light, but when he gets in the dark You'd be surprised I know he looks as slow as the Erie, but you don't know the half of it dearie He looks as cold as an Eskimo, but there's fire in his eyes He doesn't say very much, but when he starts in to speak You'd be surprised He's not so good at the start, but at the end of a week You'd be surprised On a streetcar or in a train, you'd think he was born without any brain But in a taxi cab, and when he starts to grab, I say in a taxi cab You'd be surprised. This one's a real danger! ********** AFTER YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU DON'T WANT IT Performed by Donald O'Connor & Marilyn Monroe Listen to me, honey dear, something's wrong with you I fear It's getting harder to please you, harder and harder each year I don't want to make you blue, but you need a talking to Like a lot of people I know, here's what's wrong with you After you get what you want, you don't want it If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon You're like a baby, you want what you want when you want it But after you are presented with what you want, you're discontented You're always wishing and wanting for something When you get what you want, you don't want what you get And tho' I sit upon your knee, you'll grow tired of me 'Cause after you get what you want, you don't want what you wanted at all Don't you say that I'm unkind , think it over and you'll find You've got a changeable nature, you're always changing your mind There's a longing in your eye that is hard to satisfy You're unhappy most of the time, here's the reason why After you get what you want, you don't want it If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon You're like a baby, you want what you want when you want it But after you are presented with what you want, you're discontented You're always wishing and wanting for something When you get what you want, you don't want what you get And tho' I sit upon your knee, you'll grow tired of me 'Cause after you get what you want, you don't want what you wanted at all ********** IF YOU BELIEVE Performed by Johnny Ray Brothers And sisters Listen You non-believers, listen, you better start to believe All you doubters, be "hallelujah shouters", or else you're going to grieve There's no time to wait, you may be too late, so listen You don't know what you're missin' until you start to believe If you believe that there's a heaven You'll get to heaven, if you believe If you believe that there are angels You'll see the angels, if you believe I'm not making promises to the doubting Thomases But if you believe the Lord can help you The Lord will help you, if you believe (We do, we do, we do) Do you believe? (We do, we do, we do) Do you believe? (We do, we do, we do) Well, Jonah went out one night in a gale Do you believe that? (We do, we do, we do) Soon, he was swallowed up by a whale Do you believe that? (We do, we do, we do) Daniel lay down with lions that roared Noah was on his ark when it poured Moses looked up and he spoke to the Lord Do you believe that? Do you believe that? (We do, we do, we do) ********** (WE'RE HAVING A) HEATWAVE Performed by Marilyn Monroe Oh! We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising She certainly can can-can She started a heatwave by letting her seat wave In such a way that the customers say That she certainly can can-can Gee, gee! Her anatomy makes the mercury rise to 93! Having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave, the way that she moves That thermometer proves that she certainly can..... (What's your name honey? Pablo) Certainly can.... (Chico, Miguelito, Pablo, Chico, Miguelito).....oh, can-can Pablo, it's saying here in the weather report It's saying a fairly warm air is moving in from.. (Where?) Jamaica Moderately high air pressure will cover the NE and.. (Where else?) The Deep South Small danger of (what?) Fruit frost! Hot and humid nights can be expected Vincent 95, Guadeloupe 97, Santo Domingo 99. Pardon me? 105? We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising I certainly can can-can I started this heatwave in such a way That the customers say that I certainly can can-can The man who need makes the mercury rise to 93 We're having a heatwave, a tropical, a tropical heatwave The way that I move, that thermometer grooves (She certainly, certainly, certainly can} I certainly, certainly, certainly can can-can ********** A MAN CHASES A GIRL (UNTIL SHE CATCHES HIM) Performed by Donald O'Connor & Marilyn Monroe A man chases a girl until she catches him He runs after a girl until he's caught He fishes for a girl until she's landed him It all comes out exactly the way she thought Uncertain, he tags along behind Uncertain, till she makes up his mind A man chases a girl until she catches him But don't run too fast while you are saying "No" And once you've caught him don't ever let him go ********** LAZY Performed by Donald O'Connor, Marilyn Monroe & Mitzi Gaynor Every time I see a puppy On a summers day A puppy dog at play My heart is filled with envy That's why I'm in such a hurry To pass the time away Like the pup, I'm all fed up, and Though it's wrong to be, I long to be Lazy, I wanna be lazy I'm longing to lay in the sun with no work to be done Under that awning they call the sky Stretching and yawning and let the world go drifting by I wanna peep through the deep tangled wildwood Counting sheep 'til I sleep like a child would With a great big valise full of books to read where it's peaceful While I'm killing time, being lazy Lazy, I wanna be lazy I'm longing to lay in the sun with no work to be done Under that awning they call the sky Stretching and yawning and let the world go drifting by I wanna peep through the deep tangled wildwood Counting sheep 'til I sleep like a child would With a great big valise full of books to read where it's peaceful While I'm killing time, being lazy While I'm killing time, being lazy ********** A SAILOR'S NOT A SAILOR ('TIL A SAILOR'S BEEN TATTOOED) Performed by Ethel Merman & Mitzi Gaynor ********** THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS Performed by Ethel Merman Reprised by the Merman, O'Connor, Monroe, Ray, Gaynor & Dailey The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props The audience that lifts you when you're down The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops The sheriff who escorts you out of town The opening when your heart beats like a drum The closing when the customers won't come There's no business like show business Like no business I know Everything about it is appealing Everything the traffic will allow No where could you have that happy feeling When you are stealing that extra bow There's no people like show people They smile when they are low Yesterday they told you you would not go far That night you opened and there you are Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star Let's go on with the show There's no business like show business If you tell me it's so Traveling through the country is so thrilling Standing out in front on opening nights Smiling as you watch the benches filling And see your billing up there in lights There's no people like show people They smile when they are low Even with a turkey that you know will fold You may be stranded out in the cold Still you wouldn't trade it for a sack o' gold Let's go on with the show Let's go on with the show! ********** ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER (Recorded and filmed for, but cut from the final print of the film) Performed by Ethel Merman, Dan Dailey, Mitzi Gaynor & Donald O'Connor Anything you can do, I can do better I can do anything better than you No, you can't Yes, I can No, you can't Yes, I can No, you can't Yes, I can, Yes, I can! Anything you can be, I can be greater Sooner or later I'm greater than you No, you're not Yes, I am. No, you're not Yes, I am. No, you're NOT! Yes, I am, Yes, I am! I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow I can live on bread and cheese And only on that? Yes! So can a rat! Any note you can reach, I can go higher I can sing anything higher than you No, you can't (High) Yes, I can (Higher) No, you can't (Higher) Yes, I can (Higher) No, you can't (Higher) Yes, I can (Higher) No, you can't (Higher) Yes, I can (Higher) No, you can't (Higher) Yes, I CAN! (Highest) Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper I can buy anything cheaper than you Fifty cents? Forty cents! Thirty cents? Twenty cents! No, you can't! Yes, I can, Yes, I can! Anything you can say, I can say softer I can say anything softer than you No, you can't (Softly) Yes, I can (Softer) No, you can't (Softer) Yes, I can (Softer) No, you can't (Softer) Yes, I can (Softer) YES, I CAN! (Full volume) I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker I can drink it quicker and get even sicker I can open any safe Without bein' caught? Sure That's what I thought....you crook! Any note you can hold, I can hold longer I can hold any note longer than you No, you can't Yes, I can No, you can't Yes, I can No, you can't Yes, I can Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I No, you C-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N'T- CA-A-A-A-N! (Cough, cough!) Yes, you ca-a-a-an! Anything you can wear, I can wear better In what you wear I'd look better than you In my coat? In your vest! In my shoes? In your hat! No, you can't! Yes, I can, Yes, I CAN! Anything you say, I can say faster I can say anything faster than you No, you can't (Fast) Yes, I can (Faster) No, you can't (Faster) Yes, I can (Faster) No you can't (Faster) Yes I can! (Fastest) I can jump a hurdle I can wear a girdle I can knit a sweater I can fill it better I can do most anything Can you bake a pie? No Neither can I Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter I can sing anything sweeter than you No, you can't (Sweetly) Yes, I can (Sweeter) No, you can't (Sweeter) Yes, I can (Sweeter) No, you can't (Sweeter) Yes, I can (Sweeter) No, you can't, can't, can't (sweeter) Yes, I can, can, can (Sugary) Yes, I can! No, you can't! ********** (Contributed by Mel Priddle - October 2007)

    


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