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THE STORK CLUB (Soundtrack) Songs from the film "The Stork Club" (1945) Starring Betty Hutton, Barry Fitzgerald and Andy Russell DOCTOR, LAWYER, INDIAN CHIEF Music by Hoagy Carmichael / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster Performed by Betty Hutton There's a doctor livin' in your town There's a lawyer and an Indian, too Neither doctor, lawyer nor Injun chief Could love you any more than I do There's a barrel of fish in the ocean There's a lot of little birds in the blue And 'Neither fish nor fowl" says the wise old owl Could love you any more than I do No! No! No! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do I'm gonna warn all the dead-eyed dicks That you're the chick with the slickest tricks And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through Tell the doc to stick to his practice Tell the lawyer to settle his case Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face 'Cause you know! know! know!, it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do (No! No! No! it couldn't be true) (That anyone else could love you like I do) And, confidentially, I confess I sent a note to the local press That I'll be changin' my home address for you, follow through Tell the doc to stick to his practice Tell the lawyer to settle his case Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face 'Cause you know! know! know!, it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do No! No! No! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do I'm gonna send a hot communeek To warn the boys down at Cripple Creek That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak Tell the (Doc!) to stick to his practice Tell the (Lawyer!) to settle his case Send the (Injun chief!) and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face (woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo) 'Cause you know! know! know! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do (Like I do) (Like I do) (Like I do) LIKE I DO! ****** I'M A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE Music and lyrics by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans Performed by Betty Hutton When I was young I found it grim To gurgle in the social swim The dos and don'ts, the lah-di-dahs To me were just a lot of BLAH! I used my silver spoon at birth For throwing meatballs at my nurse I always chose to thumb my nose At smarty clothes and party pose I ditched the rich and sable set To join the kitchen table set.... I use the wrong fork at the Stork in New York My manners ain't fit for a goof I'm just a square in the social circle Who put that fly in my soup? I'd rather go out with a lout to a bout Than sleep in a symphony hall I'm just a square in the social circle Who knocked my gum off that wall? When the orderly order flows like butter I want to start pitchin' a curve With a silly old blighter on a first nighter I feel like a pickled hors d'ouvres, no verve I never felt gay in a fancy beret I wear babooshka or burst I'm just a square in the social circle Finger bowls hurt me the worst They just don't quench my thirst! Mrs. Vanderhorst will greet me with a fourteen carat shout "My Dear, you've simply got to come to my daughter's coming out" Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink When she comes out, each stag will shout "Gadzooks, I need a drink" I've dined in clubs, I've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne Phoo to you, bud, take your blue blood and stick it in your fountain pen! I wanna brush all the plush and the gush I'd rather get left than be right I'm just a square in the social circle Anyone here want a fight? None of me fits with the wits at the Ritz I'd rather relax on a stool I'm just a square in the social circle Anyone wanna shoot pool? When the cookie with cabbage gets too savage Wrastle him three out of four I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer And show me his nautical lore, why sure The ladies in frills only fill me with chills They're soft as a ball of chenille I'm just a square in the social circle I got a muscle of steel Anyone here want to feel? I'm as square as a pair in a bootaneer Fancy silk won't stay on I'm designed for rayon But I just don't seem to care I'm a square! ****** IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE Music by Egbert Van Alstyne / Lyrics by Harry Williams (1905) Performed by Betty Hutton In the shade of the old apple tree Where the love in your eyes I could see When the voice that I heard, like the song of the bird Seemed to whisper sweet music to me I could hear the dull buzz of the bee In the shadows as you said to me With a heart that is true, I'll be waiting for you In the shade of the old apple tree ****** IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS Music by Harry Revel / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster Performed by Betty Hutton and Andy Russell If I had a dozen hearts (ANDY: I love you) And if you had only one If I had a dozen hearts (ANDY: Yes, I do) I would love you twelve times one (ANDY: I do) If I had a dozen lips (ANDY: Don't know what I'd do without you) I would say twelve times a day (ANDY: You must know) BOTH: Darling, I love you If I had a dozen arms (ANDY: More ev'ry day) They would all be holding you If I had a dozen dreams (ANDY: In ev'ry way) In your arms they would all come true Although I know a dozen hearts are fun, I've found (ANDY: Believe me, Darling, I love you) I couldn't love you much more than I do with one Twelve times one (ANDY: Believe me) BOTH: I love you ****** LOVE ME Music by Jule Styne / Lyrics by Sammy Cahn Performed by Andy Russell Love me as only you can love me There's no one who can love me The way that you do Your kiss is as gentle as the falling Summer rain Your sigh is the sentimental theme of our refrain I want you to thrill me as only you can thrill me There's no one who can thrill me What am I to do I'm helpless, so I'm content To be the fool that you make of me So, love me the way that I love you Thrill me as only you can thrill me There's no one who can thrill me What am I to do I'm helpless, so I'm content To be the fool that you make of me So, love me the way that I love you ****** IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS (REPRISE) Music by Harry Revel / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster Performed by Betty Hutton If I had a dozen hearts And if you had only one If I had a dozen hearts I would love you twelve times one If I had a dozen lips I would say twelve times a day Darling, I love you If I had a dozen arms They would all be holding you If I had a dozen dreams In your arms they would all come true Although I know a dozen hearts are fun, I've found I couldn't love you much more than I do with one ****** All songs transcribed and/or verified by Mel Priddle - Nov 2008) ****** (Contributed by - November 2008)

    


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