TRUCK DRIVER'S NIGHTMARE
(Don McMillan / Norman Mongold)


Larry Scott - 1972





Well, I'd been pushin' my rig for fourteen days
When I pulled in the terminal gate
Because of sleet, rain and snow
I was runnin' about three days late
I checked at the dispatcher's window
To see what they had for me
Then they handed me a note which said
I was due in Cape Kennedy

Well, I climbed up in my sleeper 
Not much use goin' home
I'd phone the wife in the morning 
Then grab a bite and I'd be gone
I cranked up my old Freightliner 
Checked my brakes and then my tyres
Just about eight hours later 
I was passin' through Fort Myers

When I arrived they backed me up 
To a missile under the ground
Loaded my old flatbed rig 
With eighty thousand pounds
I signed the book and 
Passed the guard at seven-thirty-five
When I noticed in red letters
"Danger This Missile Is Alive"

Now you talk about a nervous wreck 
My clothes were soakin' wet
I had to use the sleeper curtain 
To wipe away the sweat
I could even picture my mother-in-law 
At my house drinkin' beer
After they cashed in my insurance 
That I took out last year

My old diesel jogged along 
Rockin' back and forth
Through the southland to the mountains 
And just a little farther north
In my mirror I could see 
My hair was turnin' grey
My eyes looked like two poached eggs 
On top of Georgia clay

And then somewhere in North Carolina 
I stopped to change my pants
I was the biggest laugh of that truck stop 
Doin' the Saint Vitus dance
I ate a pack of No-Doz 
Swallowed a bottle of Coke
Bought a pack of cigarettes 
And I don't even smoke

That night I hit the old Blue Ridge 
And started up the climb
Snow and sleet four feet deep 
Too scared to look behind
Around Dead Man's Curve and Horseshoe Bend
Down to the lowest gear
I read a sign upon a rock 
Saying that Heaven was near

Now I don't mind tellin' ya
I prayed out loud and felt real proud 
When I found that missile place
I wondered if it would go to Mars 
Or somewhere else in outer space
I told the man about my ride 
And how I sweated blood
He said, "Son, this is the government salvage yard
That missile is a dud!"






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2013)