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TRUCK DRIVER'S NIGHTMARE (Don McMillan / Norman Mongold) Larry Scott - 1972 Well, I'd been pushin' my rig for fourteen days When I pulled in the terminal gate Because of sleet, rain and snow I was runnin' about three days late I checked at the dispatcher's window To see what they had for me Then they handed me a note which said I was due in Cape Kennedy Well, I climbed up in my sleeper Not much use goin' home I'd phone the wife in the morning Then grab a bite and I'd be gone I cranked up my old Freightliner Checked my brakes and then my tyres Just about eight hours later I was passin' through Fort Myers When I arrived they backed me up To a missile under the ground Loaded my old flatbed rig With eighty thousand pounds I signed the book and Passed the guard at seven-thirty-five When I noticed in red letters "Danger This Missile Is Alive" Now you talk about a nervous wreck My clothes were soakin' wet I had to use the sleeper curtain To wipe away the sweat I could even picture my mother-in-law At my house drinkin' beer After they cashed in my insurance That I took out last year My old diesel jogged along Rockin' back and forth Through the southland to the mountains And just a little farther north In my mirror I could see My hair was turnin' grey My eyes looked like two poached eggs On top of Georgia clay And then somewhere in North Carolina I stopped to change my pants I was the biggest laugh of that truck stop Doin' the Saint Vitus dance I ate a pack of No-Doz Swallowed a bottle of Coke Bought a pack of cigarettes And I don't even smoke That night I hit the old Blue Ridge And started up the climb Snow and sleet four feet deep Too scared to look behind Around Dead Man's Curve and Horseshoe Bend Down to the lowest gear I read a sign upon a rock Saying that Heaven was near Now I don't mind tellin' ya I prayed out loud and felt real proud When I found that missile place I wondered if it would go to Mars Or somewhere else in outer space I told the man about my ride And how I sweated blood He said, "Son, this is the government salvage yard That missile is a dud!" (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2013)

    


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