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UNCLE BERNIE'S FARM (Frank Zappa) Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention - 1967 I'm dreaming (Oh no-o-o!) There's a bomb to blow yo mommy up A bomb for your daddy too (Ouch!) A baby doll that burps and pees A case of airplane glue A hungry plastic troll To scarf yo buddy's arm A box of ugly plastic things marked Uncle Bernie's Farm! There's a little plastic congress There's a nation you can buy (I'll take two) There's a doll that looks like mommy She'll do anything but cry (I seen her) There's a doll that looks like daddy He's a funny little man Push a button and ask for money There's a dollar in his hand (Check his wallet) We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission Christmas don't make it no more Don't you know that murder and destruction Scream the toys in every store (Think this'll sell in New York?) There's a man who runs the country There's a man who tried to think And they're all made out of plastic When they melt they start to stink There's a book with smiling children Nearly dead with Christmas joys! And smiling in his office Is the creep who makes the toys FRANK ZAPPA: We got this car, when it hits the wall you see the guy dying. Got the little plastic puddles of blood by the car. I'm dreaming! RAY COLLINS: He has intestines, he has plastic intestines you can stuff back into his stomach. FRANK ZAPPA: There's this other thing, I've got bombs. I've got rockets, I've got a, I've got a stilson wrench and plastic brass knuckles. RAY COLLINS: And it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects. FRANK ZAPPA: We got a '39 Chevy. (Contributed by - March 2008)

    


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