WE WILL ALL GO TOGETHER WHEN WE GO
Tom Lehrer

as rec by Tom Lehrer (vocal & piano)  
July 8th 1959 NY

also rec by Tom Lehrer w Orch cond by Richard Hayman  
Jan 21st 1960 NY


When you attend a funeral
It's sad to think that sonner or l-
-ater those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
-tives to think of all the weeping they will do,
But don't you worry!

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an armband made of black cloth
Will someday never more adorn a sleeve,
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbours too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve!

And we will all go together when we go,
What a comforting fact that is to know!
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go!

We will all go together when we go,
All suffused with an incandescent glow!
No-one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyds of London will be loaded when they go!

We will all fry together when we fry,
We'll be french fried potatoes by and by,
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry!

Down by the old mill stralm,
There'll be a storm before the calm.

And we will all bake together when we bake,
There'll be nobody present at the wake!
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak!

For we will all char together when we char,
And let there be no moaning at the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that ICBM,
And the party will be "come as you are!".

We will all burn together when we burn,
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn!
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go to your respective Valhallas;
Go directly, do not pass "go", do not collect two hundred dollars!

And we will all go together when we go,
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo!
When the air becomes uraneous,
We will all go simultaneous,
Yes, we will all go together
when we all go together,
Yes, we will all go together when we go!






(Contributed by Peter Akers - December 2010)