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WHEN FATHER PAPERED THE PARLOUR (R.P. Weston / F.J. Barnes) Billy Williams - 1911 Father papered the parlour, but he'd no right to do so Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah Dee-dah-dee-lam-dee-dah-dah-dah Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah Our parlour wanted papering And Pa says it was waste To call the paperhangers in And so he made some paste He got some rolls of paper A ladder and a brush And with me Mother's nightgown on At it he made a rush When Father papered the parlour You couldn't see Pa for paste Dabbing it here and dabbing it there There was paste and paper everywhere Mother was stuck to the ceiling And the kids were stuck to the floor You never saw such a bloomin' family So stuck up before Dum-dah-dum-dah-dah-dah Hah-hah-hah-hah What d'you think of poor old Father? Hah-hah-hah-hah Diddle-dee-di-dee-di-doh Hah-hah-hah-hah You never saw such a bloomin' family So stuck up before Lah-dah-dum-dah-dah-dah-dah Hah, that's the part I like Hah-hah-hah-hah Soon Dad fell down the stairs And dropped the paperhanger's can On little sister Mary Sitting there with her young man The paste stuck them together As we thought would be for life We had to fetch the parson in And make them man and wife When Father papered the parlour You couldn't see Pa for paste Dabbing it here and dabbing it there There was paste and paper everywhere Mother was stuck to the ceiling And the kids were stuck to the floor You never saw such a bloomin' family So stuck up before Father papered the parlour You couldn't see Pa for paste Dabbing it here, hah-hah-hah-hah There was paste all over......Him! I say all over......Him! Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah Lah-dah-dum-see-diddle-dee-di-di Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah We're never going to move away >From that house any more For Father's gone and stuck the chairs And the tables to the floor We can't find our piana Though it's broad and rather tall We think that it's behind the paper Pa stuck on the wall When Father papered the parlour You couldn't see Pa for paste Dabbing it here and dabbing it there There was paste and paper everywhere Mother was stuck to the ceiling And the kids were stuck to the floor You never saw such a bloomin' family So stuck up before Come on, form a set of Lancers Form top and bottom lines Ladies in the centre Gents in the centre.......Advance! Come on, mother, don't stand there all night We want to get the set over Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah Oh dear, old mother, come on, give us a kiss You won't, alright, I'll go home to the Wife Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2013) ******************** EXTRA VERSES: The pattern was 'blue roses' With its leaves red, white, and brown He'd stuck it wrong way up And now we all walk upside down And when he trimmed the edging Off the paper with the shears The cat got underneath it And Dad cut off both its ears Now, Father's sticking in the pub Through treading in the paste And all the family's so upset They've all gone pasty faced While Pa says, now that Ma has spread The news from north to south He wishes he had dropped a blob Of paste in Mother's mouth When Father put the paper on the wall He put the parlour paper in the hall He papered up the stairs, he papered all the chairs He even put a border on grandma's shawl But the ladder slipped and he began to fall The pot of paste fell down upon us all Like birds of a feather, we all stuck together When Father put the paper on the wall (Contributed by Mel Priddle - November 2013)

    


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