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WHEN MY STOCKS COME TUMBLING DOWN Arthur Fields & Fred Hall - 1929 I'm the chump you've heard about There's more like me without a doubt When stock reports are given out Oh, what a sucker! My stocks come tumbling down My stocks come tumbling down I buy on margin, don't you see On a great big scale, but holy gee! And then I lose my dough-re-mi My stocks come tumblin' down I bought Tin Can at a dollar and a half And Squeaky-Squawky Phonograph At a price that would make a donkey laugh So I stood to make a million My stocks come tumbling down My stocks come tumbling down When I listened to the ticker tick I figured I could get rich quick But a bunch of bears were too darn slick My stocks come tumblin' down My bootblack boy bought Gump preferred He told me not to say a word The price of Gump was so absurd So I bought a thousand shares My stocks come tumbling down My stocks come tumbling down I met my broker on the floor He said, "Go on and buy some more" But I'm broker than I was before My stocks come tumblin' down (Say, say!) (What'd'ya want?) (What did you buy?) (I bought Gin preferred) (What?) (Gin preferred, you heard me) (So do I!) (Laughter) (So, you bought Gin preferred, and what happened?) (Why, it went down the same night) (Laughter) (Say, what did you buy?) (I bought Ginger Ale straight) (Well, why can't we put our stocks together, what about a Highball?) (Laughter) (But all kiddin' aside, I know one man who cleaned up on Wall Street) (Who's that? (The Janitor!) (Laughter) (Just a minute, boys, just a minute) (Why, didn't'ya hear?) (What's wrong?) (Graf Zeppelin is up again) (Laughter) (Say, did you hear, they're runnin' a bus line from Wall Street to the East River? Why don't'ya take a ride on it like a lot of these other guys?) (Go on, I haven't got enough left to pay the fare) My laundry man bought Subway Jam And a hundred shares of Chowder Clam His stock went up on Amsterdam So he bought himself some shoestrings His stock came tumbling down His stock came tumbling down He jumped right in the deep blue sea I was scared as I could be I looked to see if that guy was me His stocks came tumblin' down The iceman gave me a tip on coal He told me not to tell a soul He said that coal was down the hole I thought that was a hot one That stock came tumbling down That stock came tumbling down There's one thing that I won't forget That stock was watered, you can bet And now I know that stock's all wet My stock's come tumblin' down (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - December 2014)

    


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