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WHEN THERE ISN'T A GIRL ABOUT (Harry Castling / Chas Collins 1906) Poor old Robinson Crusoe, he led a life of misery, There on the island he knew not what to do. No girls there with loving eyes To talk to him and sympathise, There on his lonesome things felt awfully blue. One night, whilst he was making up the bed, He turn'd to poor old Mister Friday, and he said: When there isn't a girl about you do feel lonely, When there isn't a girl that you can call your "only", You're absolutely on the shelf, Don't know what to do with yourself, When there isn't a girl about. Mister Brown was a bachelor and living in apartments grand; One Christmas evening he sat there all alone. Just above his head you know, There hung a kind of mistletoe, He stood beneath it then he gave a groan. No sweet maid was near at hand alas! Then to himself he whispered in the looking glass: When there isn't a girl about you do feel lonely, When there isn't a girl that you can call your "only", You're absolutely on the shelf, Don't know what to do with yourself, When there isn't a girl about. Green aboard of a "P and O" Meant to see the world, you know, And for a fortnight quite enjoyed the trip. He'd everything that he required, Everything that he desired, Still there was something missing on the ship. One day he found what was missing, so He murmured to the captain, when he went below: When there isn't a girl about you do feel lonely, When there isn't a girl that you can call your "only", You're absolutely on the shelf, Don't know what to do with yourself, When there isn't a girl about. Binks the bobby was on his beat, Looking for a snug retreat, But all the servants were snug between the sheets. All the clocks were striking four, And barred was every airy door, Binks seemed deserted, so did all the streets. Feeling chilly, he crouched against a wall, Then shouted to the man who kept the coffee stall: When there isn't a girl about you do feel lonely, When there isn't a girl that you can call your "only", You're absolutely on the shelf, Don't know what to do with yourself, When there isn't a girl about. (Contributed by Peter Akers - February 2016)

    


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