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WHERE'S ME SHIRT ? Ken Dodd - 1965 Well it all began in the year of one When Adam was the first man And a girl called Eve, so we believe Was made to be his woman She led him up the Garden of Eden, by a tree Then she offered him her apple And he cried out suddenly (eee-eeee-eeeee) SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Where's me shirt? Where's me shirt? I feel a proper twazzer without me shirt I've got me tickling-tackle and me nicky-nocky-noo But I must confess I feel undressed Like this, in front of you SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Where's me shirt? I can't find me shirt anywhere. It's twenty-five past five in the Garden of Eden and I can't find me shirt. Fancy leaving me in a garden with no shirt on, like this. Look at all these creepy-crawly things here. Ooh, look, there's a serpent. Go 'way. Go 'way you nasty old serpent. Go on, shoo! Go on, shoo! Since the days of old, we've all been told Of men like Bonaperte His great retreat and his first defeat Was the thing that broke his heart He stuck just outside Moscow and then made history He stuck his hand inside his coat And cried out bitterly (eee-eeee-eeeee) SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Where's me shirt? Where's me shirt? I can't go on like zis, wizout my shirt I've had my tickle-tonic on my nicky-nocky-nee But I just can't go through all this snow Without a shirt on me SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Where's me shirt? Oh, sacre blue. Sacre flippin' blue, where's me shirt? By Jove, t'ain't 'alf frosty. Ooh, ooh, this tent isn't 'alf drafty. I don't know where the draft's comin' from, but I know where it's goin' to. Back in eighty-one, in the mid-day sun In Tombstone, one September Wyatt Earp was due to go into A gunfight he'd remember The Clanton's and McLourys started firin' suddenly As the gunsmoke cleared and the twonsfolk cheered Wyatt Earp said quietly (eee-eeee-eeeee) SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Where's me shirt? Where's me shirt? I feel a proper twit without me shirt I've lost me ticklin'-tackle and me nicky-nocky-nee But I feel a twerp, me Wyatt Earp With my shirt shot off o' me SPOKEN (Liverpool Accent): Ere, where's me shirt? Where's me gunfightin' shirt? Ooh, I say, here comes the Indians. 'Ere, you be careful where you're shootin' those arrows. Where's me shirt? Where's me shir... I can't find me shirt anywhere. D'you know, I'm sure I had it when I came out. Where's me shirt? (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - May 2005)


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